April 2009 - 59

Winsome & Loathsome
Tales of the Trail

Bernie
Since the TV advent of House, I
have been curious. Words used to
describe the good doctor - sarcastic,
sardonic, satiric, ironic, etc. - seem
to have identical meanings. I wondered in particular about the unclear
difference between sarcastic and
sardonic.
So I turned to the dictionary. Over
the definition of sarcastic was a
picture of the great Alvin Roth, who,
like Dr. House, could be as caustic as
he was brilliant. Sarcasm, it seems,
is derisive and explicitly intended to
hurt, offend or inflict pain.
Then I checked out sardonic, which
was accompanied by a picture of
Bernie Chazen. That was actually no
surprise. Bernie worshiped Al Roth.
But the subtle difference in the meaning of sardonic is significant. To be
 Bridge
Continued

with the Abbot

course, you won't need to rotate the
deal."
"Yes, a trump lead does beat it,"
declared Brother Xavier. "It robs him
of a tempo."
The Abbot had heard enough. If
anything needed to be rotated, it was
Brother Xavier's head, preferably by
a full 360 degrees. When was the last
time that Xavier had found a killing
lead? Not within living memory and
yet he was always the first to jump on
partner's back for failing to do so.
Brother Hubert completed his note
of the deal, looking once more at
the cards that the Abbot had held.
"I'm not sure I can use this particular
deal," he said. "A trump lead was so
obvious after that auction, it's not really an instructive example!"
r
April 2009

sure, sardonicism is also derisive, but
playfully so. There is no intent to offend or cause emotional distress. That
was Bernie. With his huge frame,
huge voice and huge ego, Chazen had
a heart too huge by half to allow any
intentional desire to inflict pain.
I refer to Bernie in the past tense
because, sadly, I am writing this on
the day after his funeral. His death
is the latest in a shocking month that
saw the passing of many prominent
bridge personalities: The great Grant
Baze, the gentle giant Jim Linhart,
sweet Andy O'Grady and Bernie.
Bernie's absence will leave an enormous hole in the landscape of South
Florida bridge. Rich Waugh, Bernie's
friend and cruise director, revealed
in a fine tribute in his newsletter,
Bridge Ace, that he (Rich) almost
scuttled the cruise relationship at
the outset because he didn't think he
liked Bernie. Lucky for both and for
bridge, he agreed to try it. But that
story was typical. So many of us who
thought we didn't like the guy with
his bombast and arrogance and sar‑
donicism, developed, in the fullness
of time, great affection for him.
We should have known by the
quality of his friends. Bernie's best
friend was Ruthie Gold: quiet, gentle,
un-aggressive - his antithesis. His
associations were with friendly,
outgoing, caring people like Richie
Coren, Waugh and Larry Cohen,
always a model of decorum.
I was once on a panel with Bernie
when someone asked us to assess
the blame on a deal where they had
doubled 5, which made, while they
were cold for 6. Bernie cut to the
chase with a sardonic counter question: "Which one of you doubled, the

Zeke Jabbour
jabbour@comcast.net

one with the singleton spade, or the
one with the void?"
Bernie always left us laughing. He,
Grant, Jim and Andy will be sorely
missed. May they all rest in peace.
Lest we forget, this is a bridge column. Bernie had the soul of a teacher,
and in deference to that I feel compelled to teach you something before
closing - so here come some more
of the dreaded card combinations. If
you don't study them, you may just
hear from Bernie - and it won't be
pretty.
Missing the king and jack
1. A 10 2
Q43
2. A Q 10 9 3 2
4
3. Q 10 9 3 2
A4
4. A 9 4 3 2
Q 10 5
Answers
1. Lead low to the queen. If it loses,
next finesse the 10. Combined
chance of about 75%.
2. Finesse the queen. Picks up more
combinations than playing to the
10 or 9, particularly J-x on the
right, for one loser.
3. Cash the ace and lead to queen.
Same explanation as previous
question.
4. Lead low to 10. If it loses to the
jack, next run the queen.
r
59
Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of April 2009
