May 2009 - 62

Nash Ramblings

Laura Nash

Leaving Las Vegas
Teammates Kathy, Carolyn, Shirley,
and Karen from Fort Worth hail a cab
in Las Vegas last summer.
Taxi driver: "Afternoon, ladies.
Where am I taking you?"
Kathy: "To the airport, please."
"So, what brought you to Vegas?"
"A bridge tournament."
"Oh yeah, that's some kind of card
game, right?"
"Right. Lots of fun ... just love
doing this ... great entertainment!"
"I think my great aunt used to play
that. Did you win?"
"A few points."
"Points? Did you play each other?"
"No, we were part of a team. The
games are called Swiss and knockouts. They pay the most masterpoints.
We did okay."
"Do you get big bucks for knocking
out the Swiss?"
"No, no. You get masterpoints.
Those are just names of games inside
the bridge world. No actual violence
takes place ... as a rule! Just joking."
"So you trade masterpoints in for
money?"
"They don't have monetary value."
"So they're kinda like green stamps

62

where you trade 'em in for beer mugs
and velvet recliners with cup holders?" (Laughing.)
"Nope, nothing. You accumulate
points for level status. It's hard to
explain."
"But they get you somethin' sometime, right?"
"Not really. You have to understand
the bridge world. It's not like poker
or some competitions where money
matters. Points are symbolic of a
player's expertise. Other than that,
they have no concrete value. Really,
it's hard to explain."
"Well, at least they must be free
then."
"Not exactly. We pay to get
them. I'm at a loss to explain this.
Duplicate bridge players don't care
about money - well, I mean, in the
sense of getting paid to win. (Sigh)."
"So you fly to a city, pay to win
somethin' you can't cash in, can't
take to a taxidermist to stuff, can't
put on a mantle, and then fly back
home?"
"Something like that. Tell me, are
you a hunter?"
"Now you're talkin'. I go up to
Alaska every year to hunt elk with
my cousin. No offense, but there's
a hobby that puts somethin' on the
table, missie."
"It does indeed. My husband, Bill,
spends about $529 a pound to put
venison on our table. Trekking off
to Bambi-land in his one-ton, with
his $2000 deer rifle, war paint, headto-toe tacky outfit and Ralph Lauren
Loco Poco deer-scent cologne costs
us a fortune. In Texan lingo, 'Yepper -
now there's a honkin' hobby for ya.' "
"Here we are."

"Thanks so much. I've enjoyed
the banter. You've reminded me that
bridge is a relatively inexpensive
'fix'!"
"No problem lady. Glad I could
help."
r

East hands for the
May Bidding Box
Bid these hands with a partner. The
West hands are on page 57. The N-S
players are silent unless otherwise
noted. Scores on page 31-33.
Problem 1. North deals. None vul.
A K J 8 7 2 8 4 A K 6 K 4
Problem 2. East deals. N-S vul.
A 7 J 5 A K 3 A 10 9 6 4 3
Problem 3. South deals. E-W vul.
A J 10 2 Q J 9 4 A 10 8 7 2
Problem 4. West deals. Both vul.
A 9 8 A 9 5 A 9 5 4 Q 10 9
Problem 5. North deals. None vul.
A 9 8 5 J 8 A Q 3 K Q 7 5
Problem 6. East deals. E-W vul.
Q 2 K Q 10 9 4 2 Q J 7 3 K
Problem 7. South deals. N-S vul.
South opens 1NT (15-17). North
bids 2 (transfer). South bids 2
if possible.
 - Q 10 3 2 A J 9 5 3 Q J 10 5
Problem 8. West deals. Both vul.
9 6 2 Q 6 3  - A J 10 7 4 3 2
Bridge Bulletin
Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of May 2009
