February 2013 - 63

Winsome and Loathsome
A good man
Marty Chaitt was a good man, a
decent man. He was a loving husband
and father, and a doting grandfather,
a fine bridge director and a talented
bridge player. Marty's favorite bridge
partner was also his partner in life,
Ellasue, who is, herself, an expert.
They were a formidable pair.
In his 83 years, Marty was around
the bridge world long enough for
folks to take a shine to his gentle,
soft-spoken ways. They learned to
respect and depend on him. He was,
indeed, a dependable friend.
Marty began his directing career
half a century ago and, early on,
he connected and bonded with the
legendary raconteur-director, Jerry
Machlin. Jerry became his boss, mentor and father figure. Marty also enjoyed spinning an entertaining tale or
two. A gentle sense of humor complemented his innate sense of fairness.
One of Marty's favorite stories occurred in the days when smoking was
permitted and "please" was not the
prescribed addendum to any director
call. It had to do with an incident that
occurred while he was directing, I
believe, at a Mid-Atlantic tournament,
his original stomping ground. The
story begins with an anguished shriek
that his trained ear recognized as a director call. He sped toward the table.
It seems that a man, having moved
for the next round, took a last drag
on his cigarette and extinguished it
in a water cup that sat in front of the
lady who was to be his new opponent.
The lady eyed him icily. "Sir," she said,

"That was my cup of water."
"Sorry about that, but, there was no
water in that cup!"
"Oh, yes there was, and I'm expecting you to replace it."
"Negative!! There was no water and
there will be no water if you're counting on me to get it!"
Whereupon, the lady reached out,
picked up the "no water" cup and
splashed the contents across his lap.
A director was called.
Marty took the call. "How can I
help you?"
"She poured water on my pants,"
the man complained, angrily.
"Because he poisoned the water
in my cup with his cigarette and then
wouldn't replace it - the water - not
the cigarette," countered the lady.
"There was no water!" The man
persisted.
"Just look at his pants," the lady advised, "they are soaked in no-water."
Marty weighed in, "Excuse me,
sir, unless you are incontinent, the
evidence strongly suggests that there
was, indeed, water in that cup. So I'll
tell you what we're going to do. You
both are in violation of ACBL regulations and I could assess a substantial
matchpoint penalty as one option. Or,
we can choose another option that
will avoid a matchpoint penalty: The
gentleman will apologize to the lady;
she will graciously accept - and
express regrets for her own strong reaction. My job will be to bring a fresh
cup of water to her and we can all go
on to enjoy the tournament."

Zeke Jabbour
jabbour@comcast.net
It was an offer they couldn't refuse
- a Solomonic solution. Marty took
the story home to Ellasue. Bent over
with laughter, Ellasue said that she
"would love to meet that lady."
We all know that our time in this
world is limited and, regardless of
the hand we are dealt, each of us,
eventually, will end up doubled and
down. For the "mass of men," life is
a sometimes long, sometimes arduous journey. Even as you and I, the
Chaitts had hit a few bumps along the
road, mitigated by the soothing balm
of love and laughter. A consummation
devoutly wished by all of humankind,
from the beginning of time.
Rest in peace, old friend, you are
missed.
❒

Anderson elected BoG chair
Former ACBL President Richard
Anderson was elected chair of the
ACBL Board of Governors at the
group's meeting during the Fall NABC
in San Francisco. The Regina SK
resident represented District 18 on the
ACBL Board from 1992 to 2009. He
was ACBL President in 1998.
A veteran player, Anderson is a
Platinum Life Master with more than
10,000 masterpoints to his credit.
His wife, Janice, has been Canadian
Bridge Federation executive assistant
for more than 25 years.
February 2013 Bridge Bulletin

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of February 2013