February 2015 - 64

Special Contributors

Bridge with the Abbot
BY DAVID BIRD

Friar Girdlestone's complaint
The Abbot gazed down at his scorecard as the second half of the South
of England monastic pairs final was
about to start. It was barely believable,
but by his calculation, he and Xavier
were less than a top above average!
How was that possible against such
hopelessly weak opposition? He was an
unlucky player, it was well known, but
surely it wasn't too much to hope for a
65% session in the present field?
The next visitors to his table were
two elderly friars, one of whom was using a walking stick.
"Poor show that they didn't provide any sort of lunch," declared Friar
Girdlestone, wincing as he lowered
himself into the West seat. "As for the
margarine sandwiches in the tea interval, they were quite disgusting."
The East player looked somewhat
embarrassed. "Er ... this is our host,
the Abbot of St. Titus," he informed his
partner. "I'm, sure you wouldn't like
him to think we were unappreciative of
the hospitality."
Friar Girdlestone showed no sign of
contrition. "I'm sure there was a lunch
last year at the Convent of the Blessed
St. Epheline," he continued. "A very
good lunch, if memory serves me."
The Abbot adopted a pious expression. "Some establishments may
have superfluous funds," he said. "We
donate every penny we can spare to
worthy causes, including our missions
abroad. We live very frugally here."
This was the first deal of the round:

64 Bridge Bulletin February 2015

Dlr: West
Vul: Both

♠9532
♥632
♦J4
♣7543

♠-
♠874
♥ A K Q 10 8 5 4
♥9
♦Q63
♦ 10 9 8 7 5 2
♣A82
♣Q96
♠ A K Q J 10 6
♥J7
♦AK
♣ K J 10
West
Friar
Girdlestone
4♥
All Pass

North
Brother
Xavier
Pass

East
Friar
Black
Pass

South
The
Abbot
4♠

Against 4♠, Friar Girdlestone
launched the defense with two top
hearts, East throwing a low diamond
on the second round. The Abbot ruffed
the heart continuation with the ♠10,
retaining his lowest trump. West
showed out on the ♠A and the Abbot
drew a second round with the king. He
then cashed the ♦A and ♦K and led
the ♠6 to dummy's ♠9.

♠-
♥ 10
♦Q
♣A82

♠5
♥-
♦-
♣7543

♠QJ
♥-
♦-
♣ K J 10

♠-
♥-
♦ 10 9
♣Q96

"Low club," said the Abbot. East followed with a low card and the Abbot
played the jack. When West won with
the ace, the Abbot faced his remaining
cards. "You have to play a club into the
tenace or give me a ruff and discard,"
he informed his left-hand opponent.
"Nothing you could do with only two
clubs."
Friar Girdlestone surveyed the Abbot
with a frosty glare. "You must have
miscounted my hand," he informed
him. "I started with three clubs." He
looked down at his hand to refresh
his memory. "Yes, I held the ace, 8 and
2. That's three cards, I'm sure you'll
agree."
The Abbot assumed a somewhat
smug expression. "In that case you
should have ducked the first round of
clubs," he replied. "I have to lead away
from the king-10 and you score two
club tricks for one down."
"No one in their right mind would
let your jack win," protested Friar
Girdlestone. "Anyway, it's hardly
appropriate to criticize the play of your
guests."
The Abbot swallowed hard,
realizing that his remark had been
inappropriate.
Friar Girdlestone returned his cards
to the board and wrote down the score
in somewhat labored fashion. "Particularly when you don't even provide them
with any lunch," he added.
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Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of February 2015
