June 2015 - 7

➺ InBox
Wise guy

Before	play	begins,	and	the	faces	are	
friendly,	I	have	entertained	myself,	
if	not	others,	by	riffing	on	systems	of	
play,	defensive	carding,	etc.
Here	is	the	complete	guide	that	I	
have used over the years.
Systems:	 "We	play	imprecision,	or	
substandard	un-American,	or	1	over	2."
Leads:	 "We	lead	out	of	turn,	with	
mild	attitude."
Signals: "Our signals are irreversible,	with	a	bad	attitude."
Discards:	 "Discouraging,	never	
even,	always	odd."
Doubles:	 "Emphatic.	Also,	unsupportive,	unresponsive	and	
'Do	something	stupid.'"
Notrumps:	 "We	play	weaker	
notrumps	(first	seat,	
15-17,	second	seat,	
14-16,	etc.)."
The	key	to	using	this	guide	is	to	do	
so	sparingly,	never	more	than	one	or	
two	at	a	time.	That	way,	people	are	not	
always	sure	if	they	heard	you	correctly	
or	if	you're	just	kidding.
Finally,	as	one	woman	who	was	taken	
in	by	my	tomfoolery	said,	"And	you're	a	
minister?"	As	a	matter	of	fact,	I	am.
REV.	MICHAEL	P.	OTTE
Warwick	NY

Letters to the Editor

Thanks, y'all

I	just	became	a	Life	Master	a	few	
weeks	ago,	and	I	was	absolutely	
thrilled	to	cross	this	achievement	off	
my	bucket	list.	As	a	young	player	(I'm	
a	Ph.D.	candidate	and	MBA	student	at	
Texas	Tech	University),	I	have	been	
extremely	fortunate	to	learn	this	game	
and	meet	so	many	wonderful	players	at	
the	various	tournaments	I've	attended.		
However,	none	of	this	could	have	been	
possible	without	the	support	of	my	
local	bridge	club	in	Lubbock	TX.	To	
honor	the	club	and	the	contributions	
of	the	many	players	there,	I	would	like	
to take this opportunity to particularly
thank	Will	Anthony,	Wayne	Bahr	("Mr.	
W"),	Charlotte	and	Gary	Blaiss,	Robbie	
Butts,	Becky	Hamilton	("Nana"),	Mary	
Hildebrand,	Walter	Langendorf,	Greg	
Loran	("Pops"),	Betty	Lowmiller,	
Billie	Mitchell	("Mrs.	Fudge"),	Bonta	
Thompson,	Jean	Westfall,	and	Ken	
and	Anita	Woodard.	I	would	also	like	
to	dedicate	my	LM	achievement	to	
the	late	Carol	Schoenhals,	who	taught	
me	to	always	play	to	the	best	of	my	
ability	with	respect	and	humility	and	
to	continuously	strive	to	improve	my	
game.		
HOWIE	MICHAEL	HUYNH
Lubbock	TX	

We	opened	in	January	and	have	
seven	new	beginner	classes	and	counting.	It	is	really	fun	and	exciting	for	me	
to	see	more	and	more	people	each	day	
wanting	to	learn	the	game	and	joining	
the	Centro	De	Bridge	Margara	Garza	
Sada.	This	could	not	have	been	possible	without	the	help	of	this	unnamed	
yet generous player.
PATRICIA	CANTU	GONZALEZ
San	Pedro	Garza	García,	Mexico

New Orleans Lady

I	just	returned	from	the	NABC	in	
New	Orleans	and	wanted	to	say	thank	
you.	I	have	been	an	ACBL	member	for	
almost	40	years	and	was	lucky	enough	
to	make	it	to	this	tournament.	I	was	
without	a	partner	for	a	good	bit	of	the	
tournament	and	mentioned	my	situation	to	John	Onstott,	the	honorary	
tournament	chair.	Later	that	day,	a	
lady	I	did	not	know	called	my	room	and	
informed	me	that	she	was	also	without	
a	partner.	Her	name	was	Jean	Talbot.	
We	filled	out	a	convention	card	
before	the	game	and	then	sat	down	to	
play.	She	was	without	a	doubt	one	of	
the	nicest	people	I	have	ever	met	at	
the	table.	We	had	no	misunderstandings	on	bidding	or	defense.	I	can	tell	
you	that	not	only	was	it	a	pure	delight	
Gracias, señor
to	play	with	Jean,	but	that	she	is	also	
I	am	writing	in	response	to	the	letter	
one	fine	player.	My	only	regret	was	that	
Am I playing too much bridge?
from	Amy	Casanova	in	the	February	is- we	only	got	to	play	one	session.	In	the	
When	my	gerontologist	was	giving	
sue	("Lend-lease	program,"	pg.	7).	She's	 entire	session,	not	one	word	was	said	
me	a	test	to	see	if	I	was	at	risk	for	deabsolutely	right.
about	what	we	should	or	could	have	
veloping	Alzheimer's,	he	asked,	"What	
We	recently	opened	a	new	club	in	
done.
year	is	this?"
San	Pedro	Garza	García,	Mexico	(near	
I	can't	thank	Mr.	Onstott	enough	
"2015,"	I	promptly	replied.
Monterrey),	and	this	was	possible	
for	going	out	of	his	way	to	make	my	
"Draw	a	clock	face,"	he	then	instructthanks	to	the	generosity	of	a	bridge	
tournament	enjoyable.	Should	you	
ed.	I	sketched	one	on	a	pad	he	offered	
player	and	his	love	for	the	game.
me.
I	believe	in	the	benefits	bridge	can	
Letters to the editor are welcome by regular mail and email.
"Start	counting	by	fives,"	was	the	
Brevity is considered a virtue, as is subject matter with relevance
give	people	of	all	ages,	and	I	want	to	
to a majority of ACBL members. Unsigned letters are not
next challenge.
give	opportunity	and	accessability	to	
considered for publication, so please include your name and
"Five,	ten,	jack,"	was	my	reply.
hometown. Letters may be edited. All letters will receive a
the	most	people	I	can	to	learn	and	play	
response. Send emails to editor@acbl.org.
JANE	ASHWORTH	
the	game.
Dayton OH
June 2015 Bridge Bulletin

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Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of June 2015
