November 2015 - 25

her husband.
"He knew better than anyone how
difficult she is," says this expert. So he
gave the go-ahead. This dump happened more than 30 years ago. It has
never been discussed by the two women - and it has never been rescinded.
Being Dumped by a Last-Word
Artist: Two young players formed
a partnership many years ago. They
were both very competitive and very
intense, and the partnership was very
successful. Until one day when it
wasn't.
The pair was part of a Swiss team
that won only two matches out of eight.
Barbs flew. Finally one member of the
partnership said he had had enough.
Bye-bye. No more partnership.
Mr. I-Just-Got-Dumped said this in
reply: "I was going to dump you anyway. You only went to a state university. And I (here he puffed out his chest)
went to Stanford!"
Dumping Your Former Spouse:
They had met when they were in their
20s, a former friend confided. They did
very well at bridge as a young husbandand-wife partnership. But after they
broke up their marriage 33 years ago,
they stopped speaking - and they
stopped playing bridge together.
But here they were, playing together
again at a recent tournament, for the
first time since the early 1980s.
The former friend was surprised. "It
was very acrimonious," she said, of the
end of their marriage.
The back-together-again pair got
through several hands very sweetly.
But then he decided to convert her
3NT bid to 4♥. Down went the contract - when 3NT would have made
in comfort. Out the window went 10
IMPs.
"How could you do that?," she inquired, not so sweetly.
"Why don't you go jump in the lake?"

he inquired, not so sweetly.
The former friend said the couple
soon vowed never to play together
again. Call it dump and re-dump.
Being Dumped by a Business
Client: A financial adviser from
Florida who had 5500 masterpoints
began playing regularly with a client
who had about 30 points. The client
was new to bridge, "and he thought that
anyone with 5000 points was some
sort of god," says the financial adviser.
Not for long.
"I went down in a contract after I
misguessed a queen," the adviser says.
"My client said that no one who has
been playing for 40 years should ever
misguess a queen. He said goodbye,
right then and there, both to our bridge
partnership and our investment deal."
The investment adviser says there
are some clients he won't miss. Some
bridge partners, too.
But Some Endings Are Happy: A
regular at a club in the Southwest tells
of two fellow regulars - former pillars
in a very successful partnership.
But one day, a doomed slam led to
harsh words. One man dumped the
other on the spot. The other said, "You
can't fire me, I quit." The only question was which one would stalk out of
the club first. My witness says it was a
virtual dead heat.
That blow-up happened 18 years
ago. Last summer, without fanfare or
explanation, the two men appeared at
the club one night - and sat down to
play as partners.
"It was the sweetest thing I've ever
seen," says my informant. "I asked
about it, and it turned out that one of
them has a very serious illness. So the
other one decided to play with him
again.
"I guess it proves that no dump is
necessarily forever."
◾

If You've Been Dumped ...

➩

Don't take it as a blanket
indictment of your character.
You will live to play another
day.

➩

Make sure you return to the
tables as soon as possible, and
make sure your "ex" sees you
there. Keeping your chin up is
the best revenge.

➩

Don't spread poison about
your former partner. It can't
help either of you.

➩

If you're asked why you and
Joe aren't playing together any
more - and you probably will
be - you should be as vague as
possible. "We couldn't see eye
to eye any more" is a lot better
than, "He's an awful player" or
"He's a creep."

➩

Don't play the "poor me" card.
You aren't the first partner to
be dumped, and you won't be
the last.

➩

Be the first one to say hello
to he-who-has-dumped-you.
You'll always feel better for
having taken the high road.

Bob Levey is a
retired columnist
for The Washington Post. He is a
Gold Life Master,
and he won the
Bean Red Ribbon
Pairs in 2010.

November 2015 Bridge Bulletin

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of November 2015