February 2020 - 64

Special Contributors

Bridge with the Abbot
BY DAVID BIRD

The extra chair
Monsignor Salerno's inspection visit
from the Vatican was nearing its end,
to the relief of all concerned. He had
found fault at every turn and would
no doubt compile an unsympathetic report when he returned to headquarters.
The Tuesday novitiate duplicate was
about to start and the players had been
puzzled by the presence of a fifth chair
at Table 7. It had been Brother Mark's
responsibility to set up the tables.
"What's that extra chair doing
there?"asked Brother Cameron.
"The Abbot wouldn't tell me,"
Brother Mark replied.
Monsignor Salerno swept into the
room. "Take your seats, boys!" he cried,
as he made his way towards Table 7. A
section of his eventual report was to be
devoted to the standard of play among
the St. Titus novices. An accurate
assessment would not be possible
without a personal inspection of their
efforts.
Four distinctly nervous competitors
drew their cards for the first board:
Dlr: South ♠ 8 7 6 5 2
Vul: None ♥ 6 4
♦976
♣A64
♠ Q J 10 3
♠94
♥3
♥ 10 9 8 2
♦ K Q 10 5 2
♦AJ843
♣KQ7
♣J9
♠AK
♥AKQJ75
♦-
♣ 10 8 5 3 2

64 Bridge Bulletin February 2020

West
Bro.
Noah

North
Bro.
Harold

East
Bro.
Wayne

Dbl
Pass

Pass
4♥

2♦
All Pass

South
Bro.
William
1♥
3♥

Brother William, who was unusually
short for his age, ruffed the ♦K lead.
When he played the ace and king of
trumps, West discarded a diamond. If
he drew all the trumps, he would have
only one trump left and it might be
difficult to set up the clubs. If he failed
to draw trumps, though, the Monsignor
might lose his temper and start scribbling in his black book.
"It is you to play," exclaimed the
Monsignor. "Are you always so slow?"
Spurred into action, the novice drew
trumps in two more rounds. West
could not afford to throw two spades.
It was also dangerous to throw a club,
since declarer was likely to hold some
length in the suit. He discarded one
spade and one more diamond. Brother
William continued with the ♣A and
another club. West won the queen.

♠ Q J 10
♥-
♦ Q 10
♣K

♠876
♥-
♦97
♣6

♠AK
♥7
♦-
♣ 10 8 5

♠94
♥-
♦AJ43
♣-

West returned the ♦Q, and Brother
William paused to consider the position.
"It is so tiresome to watch!" exclaimed Monsignor Salerno. "Even
for such a small boy, the play is surely
obvious."
"Sorry, Monsignor," said Brother
William.
Now, if he ruffed this trick with
his last trump and set up the clubs, it
was likely that the defender who won
would still have a diamond to play.
Perhaps he could bolster the contract's
prospects by throwing a club.
"At last he finds it," said the Monsignor. "For our novices in Rome, such a
play would be automatic."
Brother William ruffed the next
diamond and led the ♣10. West took
the trick and had no diamond to play.
Declarer won the spade return and
claimed his contract.
"Wow, well done!" congratulated
Brother Harold.
The Monsignor stared blackly at
the North player. "Lavish praise is
inappropriate at the bridge table," he
declared, reaching for his black book.
"Particularly in this case, where none
was justified. In Rome, our novices are
forbidden to offer praise, except to our
Lord. What is your name, boy?"
◾
February 2020

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of February 2020
