June 2020 - 15

The entire game disappears abruptly, and a new one
pops up. TeenyBopperBridgePixie has morphed back into
dickenjb and the world is right again. Sort of. I spend the
rest of our session fretting about Teeny. She's probably one
of those teenage prodigy-types, friendless, home-schooling
on lockdown, cyber-bullied, her only social life a bunch
of anonymous aging bridge players. Now we've gone and
rejected her, and she's scarred for life.
That night, a friend forwards me an article about a club
in Colorado Springs that had a 299er tournament late in
February. Some of those players proceeded from there to
another tournament in Tucson before things locked down.
Four players have died. Twenty more are hospitalized.
Before this virus, we worried about bridge dying off with our
generation; grave concerns that now seem almost trivial.
The world is doing its best to rally, dreaming up ways to
support each other during this crisis. The District 4 newsletter arrives with an announcement: Bridge clubs, like
most small businesses, are likely to fold as a result of this
shutdown. The ACBL and BBO have created a collaborative
allowing local clubs to offer sanctioned black-point games
online, just for their regular players. This will be in addition
to the nationwide ACBL games they've recently started running throughout the day. A good chunk of the proceeds from
these new ventures will go to local clubs.
That sounds like something we should do. But what about
cheating? Word is BBO has algorithms to detect cheating in
competitive play. Can we count on that?
John asks, "Why would anyone bother cheating in an
online club game? It's not like they're pros. And these local
games are with people at our own club. People we know."
Not everyone has ethics like John's - it's partly what I
like about him and partly why he annoys me. If I don't Alert
John's splinter (indicating I've forgotten what we play) and
instead raise his shortness, he scrupulously forces himself
to take my raise at face value as a monster 6-6 hand, which
can get us into all kinds of trouble. And, I've seen him not
just surprised, but deeply affronted when opponents take
unethical actions.
Valley Forge Bridge Club's director, Dave, is the first to get
set up in our area. Dave would describe himself as a realist,
I think. We've had some interesting talks in which he's revealed some of his theories around what makes bridge players tick. What it boils down to for Dave is that most bridge
players are addicts, and addicts will do just about anything
to achieve the buzz they crave. What Dave thinks feeds
the average bridge player's buzz most effectively is being
perceived as the smartest person in the room. When I ask
how he'll address cheating in an online club game, Dave says
he won't rely solely on BBO's algorithm system. If he notices
something repeatedly fishy going on with a pair's bidding or
carding, he'll make an announcement: serial suspicious behavior will lead to banishment from his club's online games.
Craven addicts or no, I do agree with John: What's the fun

in winning if you cheat? But I'm also very reassured that
Dave will watch our backs. So I decide to play a private sanctioned club game at VFBC with John. Preparation - working
from John's instructions and an emailed checklist Dave sent
to his regulars - takes about as long as driving to a game:
⦁ Give VFBC my handle so they'll recognize me and
allow me in: A lot of people don't mind if their handle
includes clues to their actual name. John's handle is a
combination of initials and his surname. Back when I
was a shy newbie, I favored anonymity, so I tried Grasshopper, an homage to the TV show Kung Fu. Grasshopper was taken, and I eventually settled on gh99. Check.
⦁ ACBL number in BBO profile: So I'll get points if we
scratch. Check.
⦁ Real name in BBO profile: Dave wants friends to know
who's playing. Check.
⦁ Bridge Bucks handy? Upper right on home screen.
Check.
⦁ Partnership convention card up to date in my BBO
profile? John took care of this. It's tricky to do. This
is not the general profile description of the conventions you personally play. Just like at the table, a partnership needs to fill out a card, which is found under
Account>Convention Cards>New Convention Card.
On the new card, there's a little white window at the top
where you type your partner's BBO moniker. Once that
card is saved, your partnership card will be available for
viewing by opponents when you play. It is found by clicking on what Lisa calls "the hamburger" - the three horizontal lines in the upper left corner of the game screen.
(The hamburger is also where you go to call a director.)
Dave warns us that if we don't set up our partnership
cards, the hamburger will default to a Standard American Yellow Card, which will cause misunderstandings.
People are being tolerant about this at the moment, but
if you don't take care of this chore eventually, there are
director calls in your future. Check.
⦁ Choose a skill level on your BBO profile: John tells
me I am Advanced. I tell him I am not feeling advanced
today, and he says, "Tough, you are, and other players will
be more likely to respect you if you present yourself that
way. They'll stop interfering with all those unmakeable
overcalls you keep failing to double." I've been struggling
lately with this identified flaw in my learning. I learned
bridge mostly at the table and somehow missed most of
the lessons on how to tell the difference between takeout
doubles and penalty doubles. I'm always pleased to spot
something I need to fix, and eager to take care of it, but
as usual, any tricky new concept triggers panic when it
comes up at the table. So my old 2NT yips have morphed
into double yips. Anytime a double hits the table, I'm
palpitating to the extent that I am actually worried I'll
June 2020 Bridge Bulletin

June 2020

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of June 2020