October 2024 - 19

blinker-clad racehorse on the home
stretch. She's aware her partner
skipped over clubs with his lowest
control bid but she's unwilling to rein
in at 4s. She could bid 5d, showing
her cheapest first-round control, but
that would telegraph the club problem
and undermine her original tactic
of lies and obfuscation. Barbara
takes the bit in her teeth and piles
on more deception, bidding 4NT -
not a standard move when holding a
void, and not what a GNT semifinalist
would normally do, but it seems
important to try. It's a great hand
with a nine-card fit and it's been a
long week.
Partner's response is 5h (two keycards,
no queen).
Does he have the cK? Probably,
she tells herself. He has an opening
hand, and she's only heard about 8 of
his points: the sA and the hA.
Can she survive a club lead if he
has the cK? Yes, if North has the ace
and not the queen. Yes, if South has
the ace and leads it. The odds look
good to Barbara, but she ultimately
spooks and puts down a bid of 5s.
All float. South, natch, leads a low
club and the dummy comes down:
West
s A 10 9 8
h A K 5
d 3 2
c K 10 5 2
East
s K Q 7 3 2
h -
d A K Q J 9
c J 9 3
Barbara ducks in dummy and
North, seeing dummy's cK, puts in
the queen. Barbara reflexively tries
to fool him by tossing her jack under
it (note to self: never believe anything
that witch Barbara tells you, ever),
but North persists with the ace and
his partner shows out. They get their
ruff. Down one.
Back to John's table: Precision
East's moment of truth after partner's
5s bid showing one key card. Before
that bid, East knew that West's six
controls could be either three aces or
two aces and two kings. (It can't be
one ace and four kings when he sees
two kings in his own hand.) With the
5s response to Exclusion key card
Blackwood (one key card excluding
the hA), West can only have one of
the two black aces. That rules out
three aces, so it must be two aces and
two kings: the hA K, the cK and one
unknown black ace.
With hope in his heart that partner
has the cA, East makes the fatal call:
6s.
From there it goes exactly as it had
at Barbara's: club lead from John,
Precision East ducks in dummy,
John's Type A guy plays the queen.
Precision East valiantly throws the
jack under it, John's guy persists with
the ace, and here comes the club ruff.
Down two.
And then, there's what happens at
your table.
You and your partner play vanilla
2/1. The auction is relatively tame:
after the Jacoby response, you fail to
even consider alternatives like crafty
Barbara's cover-up of the running
diamond suit. Like a good show pony,
you trot out your five-card diamond
suit at the four level. Partner bids 4s
showing no extras. Tough! You persist
with 5d to show first round control
in diamonds. Partner's control is
exactly what you don't need: 5h.
And you, after having put your
extremely reliable partner through
three days of bad bridge, ignore his
signoff and drive on to 6s.
The singleton club is led.
You are sooo stupid.
There are two significant traits
that distinguish you from the rest of
the field. Neither has anything to do
with skill in bridge. Both pertain to
your background. You were born on
the 13th, which you feel makes you
immune to that number's bad rap.
And you were an actress once - your
first job after college was playing
Lady Macbeth in New York, and many
years later, not long before you left LA
for good, you were Murphy Brown's
young, hot, annoying stepmother.
That was forever ago. You are no
longer young, hot or urban, but you
are in a fine urban setting today, and
you are still plenty annoying. Plus,
acting training occasionally comes in
handy both in life and at the bridge
table. With lucky-or-unlucky Board
13, you will need that training in
spades (literally).
Just like at John's and Barbara's
tables, you play dummy's low club.
North wins with the queen, but
instead of throwing your jack under
it, you decide that the jack maneuver
is more likely to be seen as a tell than
a deception. The last three times you
tried that jack thing, the opps just
laughed. Today, you carelessly chuck
your c3 on the table in tempo and
wait for North to deliver his coup de
grace. Here's where your training
comes in.
While you wait, you offer a lastditch
ploy, highly unlikely to be duplicated
in your average duplicate game:
a true, dare-we-say-it, Oscar-worthy
performance. Your role? East Whose
Club Was a Singleton. East Who
Hasn't a Care in the World! East,
saddled with nothing more than the
question of where to go for dinner,
blithely waiting for North to play
another club so she can ruff it, pull
trump, and claim.
North narrows his eyes at you. You
stay in character, musing idly whether
that pub down the street has a decent
burger. Hopefully this fellow will make
up his mind so you and your partner
can win the event, eat and make it to
the top of the CN Tower by sunset.
(Far more likely, your partner will skip
dinner and the tower, break up with
you for good and go home early.)
North is deep in the tank. (Trala-la.
Maybe they have sweet potato
fries?)
He leads a spade. You win in
dummy, polishing off their trump
in one go, and dump your bad clubs
on partner's hearts. This rogue show
pony is home free.
You are sooo clever!
continued on page 46
October 2024 | Bridge Bulletin |
19
October 2024

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of October 2024
