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As Jordan, a White third-year student, commented, " We're doing a lot because
we can now. We know what it's like to lose something and live without it. And so,
you have this anxiety about 'What did I miss? What should I do now?' " As Bryan, a
White second-year student, put it, " My friends and I call it the 'great joining.' I feel like
everyone is just joining clubs, showing up at events in their dorm that they never
would have before, stuff like that. " Antoine, a Black second-year student, agreed when
he said, " I've signed up for like 10 student orgs and haven't been to even half of them,
but it was like 'new people!' I was just so excited to have a chance to do things again. "
The exuberance expressed by some participants about the liberating feeling of being
able to join organizations or clubs and more freely interact illustrated the idea that
making up for lost time-whether consciously or not-was at the forefront of the experience
for many of these men.
The idea of FOMO, or the fear of missing out, is an ever-present dilemma for students
as they balance involvement and social lives while always worrying about what
their friends are doing and wondering what they are missing. As Conrad, a White
second-year student, noted, " The pace of social life is legitimately hectic now. There is
no more chill-you have a full calendar. My friends joke that we 'got FOMO-no mo.' "
Despite some of the anxious descriptions of jumping back into social life, participants
also expressed an awareness that the action felt necessary. Garrett, a White second-year
student, said, " I feel like we all basically sat it out for a year and now we're getting a true
college experience. It's hard to say it's an over-correction [socially], because this is what
we think college should be like. " The participants in this study are often considered part
of the generation of over-scheduled children (Feiler, 2013), whose lives have been regulated
by full schedules; the sudden experience of a year or more of under-scheduled time
created dissonance for some of them, who felt they needed to make up for lost time.
Reverting to stereotypical and normalized masculine behavior was a default setting
for many participants. Trevor, a White third-year student, highlighted this when
he said,
[It is] definitely back to " bro time " in a lot of settings, especially where I live. That lack of
social interaction for men was tough and now it kind of blew up and is back to normal
ways of guys being guys in a lot of ways.
Liam, a White third-year student, expressed similar sentiments: " I live on the same floor
this year as I did last year. Guys are definitely acting like stereotypes again on my floor.
We've had [vandalism], it's loud. It went from quiet guys to loud dudes pretty quick. "
But even with the impulse to be social again, several participants noted that they
often hesitated because they were concerned about being socially responsible and not
violating policies related to the institutional pandemic response. As Evan, a White
third-year student, explained, " We totally want to make up for lost time by going to parties,
meeting women. . . . But in the back of my head there's always this weird feeling
like it's wrong. Is my [RA] going to get me in trouble? " Some participants noted that
Volume 49, No. 2 * 2023 39

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