BALANCE_WINTER_2024 - 44

HIGHER GROUND
" I'm no
longer that
'angry man
in a dress' "
Rachael Mustoe, 47, is
a graphic designer from
London who has faced many challenges in her
transitional journey to live as a woman
" Back when I was Tim, I'd always questioned my
gender identity but it wasn't a 'thing' people talked
about. I thought I was some kind of a freak and
bumbled through university, cross-dressing
occasionally in clothes borrowed from my
then-girlfriend. My closest friends understood, but
it felt like a dirty little secret.
" Later I had two children and my partner was a
stay-at-home mum. I was non-binary, but I was
trying to do the things expected of me as a man. I was
miserable and would drink too much. In lockdown it
got to the stage where I just couldn't hide any more.
" I sent a letter on WhatsApp to my friends, family,
neighbours and work colleagues, explaining that
I was now Rachael. The outpouring of joy that I
received in return was so overwhelming, I couldn't see
through my tears of happiness.
" My partner and I are no longer a couple, but I moved
into our new loft conversion and we've continued as a
family. I get the odd weird look from strangers but I've
grown a thick skin and I've learned to tackle issues one
at a time before they're overwhelming.
" Sure, there may be days when I wake up and think
'I can't deal with this,' but luckily, the company I work
for has a mental health first aid programme and is
massively supportive.
" If you're struggling, I'd advise visiting your GP. I was
terrified, as my instinct was to push people away, but I
knew that first move was going to cause me pain and it
had to be done.
" Also remember that if the people around you are
part of your problem, you're within your rights to
distance yourself from them. Stay close to those who
truly support you.
" My previous employer opened the door to my
requests, but then said, 'No, it's unprofessional. We're
not having you wearing high heels or make-up in the
office'. When they reneged on our deal, I quickly
removed myself from that toxic environment.
" A friend once described me as 'an angry man in a
dress'. It took 30 years to find out who I really am, but
I've morphed into a much happier person now. "
BUILD YOURSELF UP
THREE
STEPS FOR
RESILIENCE
Be prepared for setbacks
Anticipate change, tension
or challenges and decide
how you will react to take
control of the situation. Use
positive self-talk to reframe
your outlook and maintain
a balanced perspective.
Develop self-confidence
Remember your purpose
and passion. Believe in
yourself, set achievable
goals and stay strong. This
will help you to bounce
back quicker and view past
failures as chances to learn.
Ask for help when needed
Reaching out for support
takes courage, but knowing
you're not alone allows you
to grow and adapt through
difficult times. It can also
make it easier to handle
stress and stay hopeful.
B
44
BALANCE_WINTER_2024

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of BALANCE_WINTER_2024
