Dentaltown March 2022 - 39

discovered is that the people who waited until marriage to live together generally had a greater
reverence for the institution of marriage and saw it as something sacred, compared with those
who cohabitated before marriage. So recognize your marriage as something more than just an
agreement between two people but as a sacred commitment.
In marriage, put her well-being and happiness above your own. Ideally, she will do the same for
you and you will both be really happy. Listen intently-put down the phone, turn off the TV, etc.
Have a good sense of humor and laugh a lot together. Keep doing whatever you did to get her to
say " yes. " Keep dating her. Never belittle her, even in jest. Never let her doubt that you respect her.
Know her love language and show her love that way. Let her know yours. Don't make each other
guess. Make time for regular intimacy-schedule it if you need to.
If there are things that bother you, ask yourself if it's worth bringing it up. My wife and I share
a Sonicare and we each have our own tip. She always leaves hers on after brushing and I always take
hers off, put mine on, then take mine off. I used to wish she would take hers off when done, but
now I don't care. I decide it takes me about two seconds a day to take hers off. I waste way more
time than that on other meaningless things. It's not worth an argument or hurt feelings.
Talk about the big things-communication is huge-but it's OK to just adapt or sleep on
some things. I fi nd some things that seem big really seem a lot smaller by the next morning and
I'm glad I didn't make a big deal out of it. Tell her you love her often and sometimes tell her why.
Keep trying to be better. Be the man her parents hope she is marrying. Don't carry grudges. Be
quick to forgive and just as quick to apologize. Don't bring up past arguments or mistakes. Leave
the bad stuff in the past.
Avoid being alone with another woman. Following this simple rule will save you from
wandering down a path you will regret taking. Watch yourself on social media, too. Save your
fl irting for your wife. Set goals, make fun plans and have a lot of fun together. In the past week,
my wife and I have gone mountain biking, played pickleball and made gingerbread houses, and
tonight we are playing volleyball with family and friends.
Build her up. Recognize what she does well and compliment her, encourage her and build
her confi dence. It's often the little things that matter. Doing the dishes, cleaning up, making
dinner, cleaning out her car, and an " I love you " text randomly midday.
If/when you have kids, be on the same team. Never let them divide and conquer. Some
people say that when the kids come, the kids come fi rst; I think that is the way to having entitled
kids. My kids know that their mom comes fi rst and they are next-they wouldn't exist without
her. I love them, but they know she is my highest priority and I think that is healthy for them to
know. The best thing a man can do for his kids is to love their mother.
Pray together. A relationship is strengthened when you hear your spouse praying for
you. There is some truth to the statement that a family that prays together stays together.
Congratulations! My marriage to my wife has been my greatest accomplishment and my greatest
blessing. Hopefully yours will be likewise. Best wishes. ■
12/23/2021
Adam W
Matt, it sounds like you have an amazing thing going. The fact that you are asking for advice
like this already means you're probably going to be all right. Congratulations. ■
In need of some more advice?
In addition to discussing dentistry, the Dentaltown
message boards are a great place to get advice on
any topic, including marriage! If you'd like to continue
reading, go to dentaltown.com/magazine and click on
the link to this thread in the Message Boards section
of the March 2022 issue.
dentaltown.com \\ MARCH 2022 39
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12/28/2021

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Dentaltown March 2022

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