Orthotown July-August 2023 - 12

A VOICE IN THE ARENA
CHAD FOSTER,
DDS, MS
Editorial Director
A Way To Keep Score
W
hen I was in Chicago in April
attending the AAO Annual
Session, my wife and kids
and I stayed with my Aunt
Sylvia and Uncle Bill, who live in a
wonderful old brownstone in the
historic Lincoln Park neighborhood.
Bill grew up poor in Chicago with a
tough family upbringing. Now 80 years
old, he has experienced a self-made
career of signifi cant fi nancial success
in the commercial heating and cooling
industry in Chicago. Whenever I get
the chance to share drinks (my vice of
choice is usually a strong margarita)
and perspective with someone further
down the road than I am and someone
who has lived a big life like Bill, I
always fi nd it a treat not to be missed.
In those conversations, we refl ected
on many things, but a few in particular
stood out. We talked about the
love we have for our families and the
pride we both experience in providing
fi nancial security for them. We agreed,
for better and for worse, how that
pride becomes a part of who we are,
inseparable from our core identity and
ego. Bill said one specifi c thing that
I believe will stick with me always:
I asked him at what point is " enough
enough, " or at what point there starts
to be a relative decline on the freedom
and happiness that pursuing more
wealth can return. Bill told me that for
someone like him, a competitive and
driven personality type who had to
fi ght and carve his own path to wealth
from nothing, the drive doesn't stop
and " money just becomes a way to
keep score. "
What about the unquantifi able?
Keeping score can be an addictive
thing to driven and overachieving
personality types (orthodontists
included). Keeping score allows us to
have immediate, objective and tangible
confi rmation of where we are on whatever
unique paths of meaning we're
progressing along. We're constantly
thirsty for that hit of confi rmation.
If we knew when our own
unique tipping point was,
would we reduce our
participation in the game?
Some paths are ready-made to be
kept score of. In physical training, it
might mean hitting a personal record
(or at least maintaining a baseline).
In fi nancial goals, we might get that
hit from routinely checking our practice
or investment metrics/apps. But
some meaningful paths aren't set up
for immediate progress comparison so
easily: How do you quantify what kind
of a spouse or parent you are? Or what
your default level of stress versus
happiness is? What metric measures
fulfi llment in your creative selfexpression?
Th e list of " scoreless "
paths of meaning goes on and on.
For all of us-and especially for
orthodontists like me in the fi rst half
of our careers-there's no need to wax
poetic about the mystic meaning of
money; it is absolutely necessary to
set up the life ahead and to meet our
JULY/AUGUST 2023 | 12 | ORTHOTOWN.COM
goals along the way. It is important.
But for all of us, like Bill, there comes
a point where the pursuit of more just
becomes a way to keep score. If we
knew when our own unique tipping
point was, where the return on investment
of time and energy for money
began to diminish, would we reduce
our participation in the game? Or,
even if we were conscious of that tipping
point, by then would the thought
of leaving a game we built so much of
our life and ego around be too painful
to endure?
Th e truth is that Bill-whether he
enjoys the game or whether he's obligated
to continue to play it because it's
what he has built his identity on-has
already won many times over. It's easier
to see that when we evaluate the
lives of others, but it's just as true in
our own lives, though more diffi cult to
objectively appreciate along the way.
But the value in doing so is immense.
More important than the prospect of
a " higher score " is the freedom to consciously
and confi dently use the game
to craft our own unique lives, rather
than being used by the game until our
life is spent. OT
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Orthotown July-August 2023

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