November/December 2024 - 47

T
ransitions are hard. We're told this repeatedly
anytime we start something new or try something
different. The transition to being a head coach is
also hard, but you're not alone and it will get easier.
This past year was a big transition for me; I fully
assumed my new (and first-time) role as a head crosscountry
coach and assisted my two cross-country teams
through a leadership transition after 40 years with the
former coaches. As I reflect on my past year of transition, I
want to share some of the lessons I learned - and
mistakes I made - to help others who might find
themselves beginning a similar new chapter.
TRUST TAKES TIME
Being patient while building trust with my athletes is
probably the hardest lesson I learned this year. Of course, I
didn't expect my athletes to immediately trust me, but I
also hadn't anticipated how long it would take for me to
earn their trust, either. Some people begin new
relationships trusting others immediately, giving them the
benefit of the doubt, while other people proceed with
caution and cynicism until their trust is earned. Either way,
most coaches would agree that building good, trusting
relationships with their athletes is key to helping them
perform at their best and creating a positive experience on
the team.
After a few months in my new position, I felt like I had
built great relationships with most of my athletes, but I
still struggled to connect with a handful. I couldn't figure
out what I was doing wrong and was getting frustrated. A
mentor of mine reminded me that there may be some
athletes who may never fully trust you - especially if
you're inheriting a program. I can attest that this realization
can be painful, but I encourage you to stay patient and
never give up on these athletes. In the final week of our
track season, after nine months of daily interaction with
my athletes, I finally had a breakthrough moment with a
student I had been struggling to reach all year.
BE VULNERABLE
There is a notion that work and personal life should be
kept separate, and this feels especially true when we're
talking about a job like coaching, where there is a clear
power difference between the coach and athletes.
Coaches are leaders, mentors, and supporters - not
friends - for their athletes. It's important to keep this line
clear, of course, but it's also important to show that you
are human and are vulnerable, too. Vulnerability is the
biggest facilitator of trust in groups, and groups with the
highest degree of trust have the highest rate of
performance (Duhigg, 2016).
We ask our athletes to be vulnerable with us and their
teammates by taking risks, failing sometimes, and then
bouncing back and taking more risks in the future. For this
to occur, an environment of psychological safety needs to
be established. In his research on group dynamics, Daniel
Coyle discovered that individuals feel safe enough to take
risks and express vulnerability only when they see leaders
also expressing vulnerability (Coyle D.,2018). So, take
time to think about ways that you can demonstrate your
vulnerability. You will gain much more than you will lose
by showing your true self.
COACHAD.COM 47
http://www.COACHAD.COM
November/December 2024

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