Grand Valley Magazine Spring 2017 - 18

NOTICE
INVITE
CHALLENGE
EMPOWER

Notice, Invite, Challenge,
Empower. These are the
core tenets of the "be nice."
initiative, established by the
Mental Health Foundation
of West Michigan.
Christy Buck, executive
director of the foundation,
said be nice. started in 2010
following the suicide of
Rutgers University student
Tyler Clementi, whose death
brought national attention
to cyberbullying.
"There was a lot of
attention at that time on
bullying behavior," Buck
said. "We realized what
needed attention was
bringing awareness to being
able to recognize signs
of depression that can be
brought on by how someone
is being treated."
be nice. is a mental health
program that educates
students, staff and parents
by providing them tools to
recognize a mental health
disorder. It's an action plan
to help others notice, invite,
challenge and empower
their peers.
"The be nice. action plan
is a four-step approach

to helping someone who
may be struggling with a
mental health disorder," she
said. "This is an opportunity
to notice the changes in
someone's behavior, invite
yourself to reach out,
challenge them to get help,
challenge the stigma,
and empower them with
your support."
More than 120 schools
have started be nice.
chapters. Schools purchase
curriculum kits from the
Mental Health Foundation
to start be nice. as a new
initiative or to complement
an existing mental health
bully/suicide prevention
program or club.
The Andy Lubbers be nice.
Memorial Fund will provide
matching funds for schools
in Kent County to purchase
be nice. curriculum kits.
There are similar funds
available for schools
in Oceana, Ottawa and
Muskegon counties; all were
established by people with
similar stories to Don and
Nancy Lubbers.
"It is a testament of the
Lubberses' love for Andy to
do this, and we are extremely
honored for their support,"
Buck said.
Donations to the Andy
Lubbers fund can be
made online at givegr.org/
benice; checks can be made
payable to the Grand Rapids
Community Foundation c/o
the "Andy Lubbers be nice.
Memorial Fund."

Learn more
about be nice. at
beniceonline.com.

G R A ND VA LLE Y M AG AZ INE

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Andy didn't go back to Virginia after
that first semester. He found jobs in
Grand Rapids as a restaurant server,
house painter and landscape worker.
He would sometimes take courses at
Grand Rapids Community College.
"He always did well when he was able
to work and take classes," Don said.
Andy maintained loving relationships
with family members, friends and
significant others. Don called that a
good memory.
"The best part of this bad situation
was that he was not like so many people
you hear about who are estranged from
their families," Don said. "But despite
the friendships, relationships and
family love, he recognized that was not
enough to override the horrible plight
of depression."
Nancy said she and Don chose to be
public about mental illness and suicide,
in part, to dispel myths and hopefully
start conversations.
"It's a misconception that if you have
love, a good family and a nice home, you
can't be depressed," she said. "That has
nothing to do with it. The disease has
chemically altered your brain.
"We wanted to be honest about it in
the obituary and now we're putting our
energies toward being public."
Through a community connection,
the Lubberses were introduced to
Christy Buck, executive director of the
Mental Health Foundation of West
Michigan, who then informed them
about the be nice. program.
"If it saves a life because someone
will find help, it was worth our efforts,"
Don said.
They both knew it was the right fit
after learning Grand Valley students
have started a be nice. chapter, joining
other collegiate chapters at GRCC
and Ferris State University.
"Mental illness is a huge problem on
college campuses," Nancy said. "be nice.
helps educate people on what signs to
look for, like changes in behavior, and it
gives tools on how to approach someone
and where help can be found, and that
it's OK to talk about this."
Nancy said it was painful to watch
Andy try his best to survive during his
darkest periods, while understanding
that medications and hospitalizations
were not offering long-term relief.
https://www.givegr.org/benice http://www.beniceonline.com
Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of Grand Valley Magazine Spring 2017
