Family Program Handbook - 20

Clarifying Boundaries
This activity, including the table on page 20, asks you to identify areas in your life that have been historically
challenging and will benefit from newly defined expectations. Use this as a tool to organize your thoughts and
priorities. The activity will help you learn how to effectively communicate the expectations you identify.
1. Identify an issue that is a priority for your relationships/home/life to improve, such as:
Curfew
School attendance/
grades
Job
Waking up/bedtime
Chores
(laundry, cleaning,
cooking, etc.)
Family time
Isolation
Friends who use
substances
Drug testing
Nicotine use
Secret keeping
Childcare
responsibilities
Car
Aftercare
attendance
Substance use/
relapse
Communication
Money/bills
Cell phone/
computer
Offensive/abusive
language
Hygiene/clothing
Honesty
Other topics
2. State the expectation for each topic. Be clear and concrete.
Parent/guardian example: Curfew is 10 p.m. on weekdays and 11 p.m. on weekends.
Partner example: Our family spends time together every Sunday from 10 a.m. to noon.
Other family member example: We are honest with each other and other family members. We agree to share
openly and honestly about consequences related to use.
3. Explain how the expectation benefits everybody involved.
Parent/guardian example: Our loved one will get enough sleep, parents will have less anxiety and sleep better,
and trust will increase.
Partner example: Everyone can plan their week around knowing we'll have that time together. It's an opportunity
for us to have fun together and build back trust.
Other family member example: We're staying true to our values, and we're working toward building back trust.
4. Clarify consequence/solutions when the expectation in not followed.
Parent/guardian example: If loved one is late for curfew, they will not go out the next evening.
Partner example: If you do not participate, or are too hungover to participate, the rest of the family will still have
family time. You are not rebuilding trust and you are compromising the family connection.
Other family member example: If I'm asked to keep secrets, I will remind you of my boundary and be honest with
whomever it involves.
19

Family Program Handbook

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of Family Program Handbook

Family Program Handbook - 1
Family Program Handbook - 2
Family Program Handbook - 3
Family Program Handbook - 4
Family Program Handbook - 5
Family Program Handbook - 6
Family Program Handbook - 7
Family Program Handbook - 8
Family Program Handbook - 9
Family Program Handbook - 10
Family Program Handbook - 11
Family Program Handbook - 12
Family Program Handbook - 13
Family Program Handbook - 14
Family Program Handbook - 15
Family Program Handbook - 16
Family Program Handbook - 17
Family Program Handbook - 18
Family Program Handbook - 19
Family Program Handbook - 20
Family Program Handbook - 21
Family Program Handbook - 22
Family Program Handbook - 23
Family Program Handbook - 24
Family Program Handbook - 25
Family Program Handbook - 26
Family Program Handbook - 27
Family Program Handbook - 28
Family Program Handbook - 29
Family Program Handbook - 30
Family Program Handbook - 31
Family Program Handbook - 32
Family Program Handbook - 33
Family Program Handbook - 34
Family Program Handbook - 35
Family Program Handbook - 36
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