Nonreactive Communication Check Assumptions " I noticed that... " " And I imagine that... " " Is that true? " Change Your Words Use " what " vs. " why. " Use " and " vs. " but. " Use " I would like you to... " vs. " you should... " Say Less " Yes. " " No. " " I don't know. " " Oh, well... " " What is your plan? " De-Escalate Pause to think. Pursue curiosity over control. Make Assertive Statements " I have to... " " I choose to... " " I get to... " Disagree Respectfully " I see it differently. " " I disagree. " " I see your point, and I respect that. And I... " " I'd like to express my point of view. " Questions and Considerations Was I asked, or did I volunteer? Do I want to do what I am being asked to do? Will I feel resentful? Is the need a consequence of their substance use? Is it a reasonable expectation that they could do for themselves? " No " and " I'll get back to you " are complete sentences. Avoid Sarcasm Pep talks Complaints Find the right time to talk. Talk face to face. Be honest, direct and respectful. Check your body language. Practice pause. 24