Canadian Boating May 2024 - 62

CROSSING THE LINE
TIMELY ALTERNATE
APPROACHES
TO ANTIFOULING
THE
ROTISSERIE
METHOD
With some
products now
regulated out of
our
chandleries,
choosing a bottom
paint might
be a conundrum
this year, but
preparing your
boat's underside
needn't be.
Using this simple
set-up, you
can take the
labour
out
A
s you've seen in the news, this
spring antifouling paints are the
focus of regulation and concern.
You may be looking for some alternatives
to the traditional bottom coats you have
been using to keep your boat's underwater
surfaces clean. Well, look no further (no, I
mean it - close this page now!).
HAGGIS
Traditionally, Scots, who are consummate
meat-eaters, have shown distaste
for vegetables. As if to return the disdain,
biological marine growth, the principal
source of boat fouling, hates the Scots. The
expedient way to repel seaweed growth is
to fl y a large swath of tartan on your boat
(we suggest Dress Stewart or McLeod).
Even better, have the captain and crew
wear a kilt, rather than shorts this summer.
The microorganisms that create the scum
that slows you down will run and hide.
the task making
boat prep as simple as barbecuing a brisket.
By welding together a sturdy tripod
frame of A36 angle iron and adapting a
pair of driveshaft bearings from your van,
the boat can be balanced on the pivots and
rotated by a crew member.
First, set up an angle grinder with the
required abrasives then give the boat a
twirl. Easy-peasy. Repeat the process with
an ordinary Swiffer mop in a place saturated
with bottom paint and the process
becomes a breeze. Ready to launch in just
an hour. Then it's time for that brisket on
a nice crusty bun.
BANANAS
The idea of antifouling surfaces is obvious
- provide a surface that the seaweed
(see Haggis above) and especially barnacles
and zebra mussels cannot adhere to.
You've seen it in Road Runner cartoons,
and everyone knows nothing slips like
62 CANADIAN BOATING | MAY 2024
a banana peel. Simply peel 200 bananas
and staple the peels to the underside of
the boat. The tiny holes in the gelcoat
will likely cause some minor osmosis
blistering but face it, it's time for a new
boat anyway. (Catherine's delicious 200
banana bread recipe is online.)
of
FOILING
You have certainly seen the proliferation
of foiling boats. This high-speed
technology was initially developed by
British Channel ferries accommodating
the many Londoners eager to go to France
for a lunch of crepes and fromage. Now
adapted into an ever-growing range of
power and sailboats, the speed of the boats
is too fast for even the quickest zebra mussel's
backstroke and they remain clean.
While retrofi tting foils to your boat may
not be practical, a layer of aluminum foil
can have the same properties. In fact, tinfoil
hats on everyone aboard can eliminate
the concerns about algae growth while
also protecting you from space aliens tapping
your brainwaves. Another multifunctional
solution.
NICKELBACK
Perhaps the simplest solution of all is a
powerful stereo system and great speakers.
Just crank up How You Remind Me
on repeat and by the seventh or eighth
play, nothing will want to be on your boat
including your guests.
Canadian Boating May 2024

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