Blue Ridge Country Sept/Oct 2024 - 9

one could push, kick, shove or wallop
Calvin because he was a delicate
flower that would wilt at the slightest
touch. We were instructed that even
if Calvin asked us to, we couldn't
even push him on the swings. That's how I remember
it being explained, anyway. There were two ways this
situation could have been played out. One, breakable
fine-china Calvin could have been appreciative of everyone's
concern for his wellbeing and gone on with his life.
Nope. Calvin didn't choose that route. Now that Calvin
had this impenetrable shield of empowerment that the
faculty was enforcing, fragile, little Calvin turned into a
raging, 10-foot-tall bully.
I was in a dilemma of the highest order. I am from a
Calvin had his arm resting on the back of his seat
while trying to grab another girl's hair. His arm was
right there. He was laughing. She was crying. His arm
was right there. Anyway, I bit him. On the arm. I bit
him hard. He wailed. He cried. He stopped pulling hair.
do this right before my stop so I popped off the bus happier
than I'd been in a month. I heard birds singing and
saw the sun shining once again.
Of course my parents were called into the princilaw-enforcement
family. From birth, we were taught to
stand up for ourselves and to also stand up for those who
couldn't fight their own battles. We were taught that the
fear of something bad happening was often way worse
than going through the actual bad event. If a bully ever
said to us that they were going to meet us behind the
gym after school, it wasn't acceptable to fret all day long
and then appear behind the gym, shaking from the fear
that built up. No, we were told to throw our books to the
floor at that moment and say, " Why wait, I'll beat you
right now! "
You understand my problem then, right? I'm coming
home every day in tears, frustrated and hurt. It's not like
the final bell signaled my release from this ambulatory
boil of a person. He rode the same bus that I did so I got
lambasted with an extra 40 minutes of abuse. I started
faking illnesses. My grades slacked off. My mother sat
me down for a talk.
She told me that if no one else was coming to save
me at school, I'd have to save myself. She'd already
called the school and they told her they were not going
to be able to help. With Mama's blessing, I was to
save myself. Looking back, I'm sure more instruction
on exactly how I was to save myself from being bullied
would have helped.
The next day on the bus home, after a full day of hair
pulling, stupid insults and crying, I snapped. I absolutely
shattered. I don't even remember doing it. Calvin had
his arm resting on the back of his seat while trying to
grab another girl's hair. His arm was right there. He was
laughing. She was crying. His arm was right there. Anyway,
I bit him. On the arm. I bit him hard. He wailed.
He cried. He stopped pulling hair. I had the foresight to
pal's office. It was my dad's habit to go to these meetings,
even if they were on his day off, in his full Virginia
state trooper uniform. It set the tone. Yes, he had a
habit of doing this because I was regularly involved in
something that required the principal's intervention.
My dad eventually became president of the PTA, because
he was there about me all the time. I was book
smart, common-sense stupid.
The other member of my team, my mama, could
be quite persuasive but she also had a tendency to flair
in anger, so meetings were full of possibilities as far as
her reactions go. I didn't get to attend this meeting but
my mom said that it was very simple. I was getting bullied,
the school said they couldn't help, so she encouraged
me to stand up for myself as there didn't seem to
be another choice. I don't know the school's reaction
or Calvin's parents' reaction. I know I didn't get in any
trouble at home and I was a damn hero at school, so I
saw it as a win. It wasn't my best choice, I know. I do
not recommend biting a hemophiliac. In the moment,
it seemed the thing to do and my life improved greatly
because of it.
Calvin was out of school for weeks and then became
a ghost whenever I was in the same room. He didn't say
anything hateful to anyone anymore. He transferred to
another school after a year. I had other bullies in life
and dealt with them as best I could without biting. I was
sorely disappointed to realize that bullies graduated high
school, just like I did. Bullies do not stay locked in your
past. No sirree, bullies will pop up throughout your life
like a horrible game of whack-a-mole.
I have no easy answer to why some people become
bullies, how they choose their victims and how the victims
should fight back. Every September I remember
my back-to-school bully and what happened. I'm not
saying that breaking out the steak sauce and get to biting
is the ideal way to stop bullying. I'd never say that.
That would be irresponsible. I'll just say, good luck and
Bon Appetit!
SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2024 9
Blue Ridge Country Sept/Oct 2024

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