Minnesota Golfer - Spring 2021 - 40

BACKSPIN
* BY MARK CRAIG *
Swing Your Swing
You can answer every email with a new " fix " for
your game, or perhaps listen to a seasoned golf
professional.
D
o I look like a guy who needs funeral insurance and
a walk-in tub?
On second thought, don't answer that.
Apparently, I do. Or at least Big Brother thinks so based on
emails sent from the information superhighway through the
land of nosey algorithms and into my overflowing inbox.
All told, there were 6,192 unread emails. The golf-related
ones numbered 651. And, yes, a great deal of them assumed
the worst about the abilities of my driver, long irons, short
game, putter and overall fitness to play this beloved game.
One email offered to " literally flatten and
tighten your tummy overnight " by taking
one sip of magic liquid after dinner. I won't
say where it came from, but my tummy and
I can confirm that it was not sent from the
Surly Brewing Co.
Another email informed me that in order
to drain putts, " you must be able to hit
the ball dead straight. " Huh. Who knew?
Apparently, I'll never make another threefooter
without expensive laser technology.
Another email promised miraculous
That's when this 14-handicapper decided that he, too, must
find something he knows more about than anybody on the
planet.
Think, man, think.
Got it.
It's 2008 and I'm playing Interlachen during the U.S.
Women's Open media day.
I'm riding with Tom Ryan,
executive director and COO of the MGA.
Tom was shooting a 74 like it was first-grade math. I was
struggling somewhere far north of 74.
In the words of Drew Willim, a golf buddy
" I asked Mike Barge,
Hazeltine's great
director of instruction,
to help describe where
confidence like this
comes from. 'Previous
success and good
feelings with the club,
and a proper fit,' he said. "
eyesight. Apparently, there's a " little-known
secret " set of exercises pro athletes do. The " must-watch "
video was quite tempting since it swore that " someone's
mom's vision went from blind to 20/20. "
Many an email was dedicated to the driver. And why not?
Nothing gets an American male to open his wallet faster than
an email informing him that his buddies are reading an email
that's guaranteeing 300-yard drives.
One such email told how a man taught himself to " regularly
launch 300-yard tee shots doing the opposite of what all the
overpaid golf 'pros' teach. " Apparently, this fella knows a " golf
swing biomechanics expert who knows three secrets the golf
equipment industry is scared to death golfers will discover. "
Then there was an email about how to choose a club when
hitting from the rough. I was told to listen to this particular
teacher because " he knows more about wedges than anybody
on the planet. "
The entire planet, people.
40
MINNESOTAGOLFER Spring 2021
from Arkansas, my " towards " was off. Everything
I hit went " towards " the trees.
Each hole went something like this: Tom
hit it in the fairway and waited while our
forecaddie and I found my golf ball under
a tree.
But something happened that day. A
confidence grew stronger with each awkward
recovery shot. The right long iron was
pulled, the proper stance taken, a low exit
window located.
Tiger Who?
I asked Mike Barge, Hazeltine's great director of instruction,
to help describe where confidence like this comes from.
" Previous success and good feelings with the club, and a
proper fit, " he said.
Our forecaddie-a teenage lad standing 6 feet 4 inches tall
and weighing far too little-might have put it better after one
of my blistering recovery shots came racing from the woods.
The only words I heard him say that day were, and I quote,
" Dude! I don't know if this is a compliment or not. But you
own that shot! "
Ha! So keep your emails about funeral insurance and walkin
tubs. And don't be surprised if you get an email saying this
fella " knows more about the punch shot to save double bogey
than anybody on the planet! "
Mark Craig is the NFL/Vikings columnist and a golf writer for
the Star Tribune.
mngolf.org
http://www.mngolf.org
Minnesota Golfer - Spring 2021

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