June 2016 - Parks & Recreation - 44

Why Walking in the Woods Is Bad for Your Health
By Richard J. Dolesh

I

want to tell you that if you want to stay healthy, don't go in the woods.
This may come as a surprise to some of you who have been reading my
columns and articles about the true joy of being in nature. Well, I have
reconsidered, and I'll tell you why.

You can't believe all the hazards
you will encounter when you go for
a walk in the woods. There are so
many things to fear about being out in
nature that I can hardly list them all.
First, there is poison ivy everywhere.
You know, " leaves of three, let it be. "
What a joke. You can't " let it be. " It
will find you and rub up against you
even if you are walking sideways. The
woods are so thick with poison ivy
vines that they kill the trees and stand
by themselves waving and swaying in
the breeze, just waiting to fall on you
and rub all over you if you even venture into the woods.
And snakes, oh my gosh, every42	 Parks & Recreation

where you look - under a fallen
rotted tree, flipping over a big rock,
kicking through some leaves - big
snakes, little snakes, brightly colored snakes, slithery midnight-black
snakes. They are everywhere.
Don't forget about insects. They are
the worst! There are so many kinds,
I can't believe how some people find
them fascinating. Ticks hang off the
tips of tree leaves or hungrily wait
perched on the tops of tall grasses, just
waiting to latch onto you, bite and not
let go! I shiver just to think about it.
And chiggers, biting flies, mosquitoes - all standing by for their
chance to get in your hair or on your

| J U N E 2 0 1 6 | W W W. PA R K S A N D R E C R E AT I O N . O R G

body. They'll land right on you and
you don't even know it until they sink
their stinger or their proboscis, or
whatever that thing is, in you! Gives
me chills!
And bees, come on. There are
bumblebees, honey bees, mason bees,
listen to this - there is even a bee
named the " confusing bee. " What is
this? Talk about a bumbling bee. At
least they are mostly dying off from
pesticides, thank goodness. We ought
to be spraying more of whatever that
is that deep-sixes those nasty little
buggers. I won't even talk about wasps
- what good are wasps? It's not like
they pollinate flowers or are vital to
agriculture like bees - they just fly
around with a chip on their shoulder
waiting to plunge their one-inch long
stinger into your soft parts. You have
to have eyes in the back of your head!



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