The Journal of College and University Student Housing - Volume 38, No. 2 & Volume 39, No. 1 - 131

Trial and Error

College Socialization: Disillusioned Expectations
upon entering college, seth expected it to be easy to find alcohol and available women. away from his parents, seth was ready for the college experience he saw portrayed in films and television. capraro (2000) underscores men’s yearning to transgress the rules of society when he describes college as “a time and place of imaginative assertion of manhood outside of civil society, away from home and family, where a kind of heroism is possible” (p. 162). seth’s experiences at rVu were far from what he expected, and it didn’t take long for him to realize that his perceptions did not match reality. seth recalled trying to find alcohol without success. He quickly became frustrated, explaining it this way: it was a commuter school so if you didn’t know people you wouldn’t be drinking. i really wanted to. it’s part of the college experience. The media is like “you are going to party all the time” but it lost its appeal. The two times i did drink i got written up. seth’s expectations, acquired through media representation of traditional stereotypes, were not only unmet, but he was punished for acting on them. expectations also proved to be unrealistic regarding women. referring to the influence of the media, seth assumed that everyone hooked up in college. His expectations were again proven wrong: “the way the media portrayed it, you go to college and drink. You are going to find someone. You are going to hook up no matter what. i was disappointed that everyone either had a boyfriend or wasn’t around.” seth isn’t alone in expecting the availability of

women at college. Kimmel (2008) notes that “the sexual mandate of the guy code—have sex with as many women as possible, as frequently as possible, no matter what—is so unattainable that virtually every young man feels at least a little bit inadequate” (p. 172). men on college campuses, largely through media socialization, feel that there are plenty of women available to everyone except for them. the expectations that seth had entering college were quickly crushed in terms of both women and drinking. Masculinity rooted in toughness. seth reiterated throughout our time together that his early understandings of masculinity were based on being tough and strong. When confronted with challenges to his manhood, he would simply resort to physical strength and toughness. illustrating this, seth tells the following story: This one guy was taunting me so much. i’m very competitive. i told him he had to leave and he wouldn’t. i told him to get out now or i am going to kick the crap out of you. he wouldn’t leave and i got up and he then he finally gets up. he’s walking towards the door and says “get your panties out of a bunch.” i sprinted towards that door, oh my god, i could have slammed it right on his arm and broke it. i could have broken his arm. The other guy, who was a football player, had to hold me back. His actions are consistent with Brannon’s (1976) no sissy stuff principle. not only did seth’s competitive nature lead him to become very angry, but the threat of being labeled feminine pushed him to the brink of physical violence. Here we can see how he has been socialized by dominant ideologies of masculinity.

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The Journal of College and University Student Housing - Volume 38, No. 2 & Volume 39, No. 1

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of The Journal of College and University Student Housing - Volume 38, No. 2 & Volume 39, No. 1