Talking Stick - January/February 2015 - 34

SPECIAL FOCUS
The same is true for the disengaged
supervisor. It's incredibly difficult to
alter a supervisor's self-chosen level
of engagement no matter how well
intentioned the employee is. All one
can do is control what they can control.
Begin by establishing a clear
understanding of the expectations
surrounding the professional role,
preferably in writing. It seems so
basic, but having a documented
conversation about what you expect
from the boss and what is expected
in return can be a terrific starting
point. It's easier to use competence
as a coping mechanism when
there is some starting place from
which competence may be defined.
Approaching that conversation in a
positive, constructive framework is
key. Coming to a supervisor with an
earnest desire to exceed his or her
expectations is highly preferable to
approaching with the suggestion that

you don't know how to do your job.
Moderating expectations of the
supervisor is also key. If a previous
supervisor was highly engaged,
expectations might need adjustment.
That might mean taking the lead in
asking for what you need, in a positive
win-win framework. "If you can give
me some assistance on these three
specific things, I can help the team
achieve success on these goals."
Candy, a first-year experience specialist
at a medium-sized Northeastern
public university, coped by providing
success stories to her disengaged
boss without being asked for them.
"I invited her to events, knowing she
wouldn't come, and then made sure
that she had some pictures from the
successful event in her email the
next morning. I bombarded her with
positive communication. I think she
started looking at me as a bright light
in an otherwise dim situation, and

that made her a bit more likely to be
helpful to me in those key times when
I really needed her assistance."
Finally, understand that people
disengage for a wide variety of reasons.
Some of those reasons are more
reasonable than others. A number of
professionals have learned later that
their disengaged bosses had spouses
facing life-threatening illnesses. Some
had relationship issues or a horrible
boss of their own. Sometimes, a little
empathy goes a long way. Anna, a
student activities coordinator at a midsized state school in the middle of the
country, teamed up with a co-worker
to confront a disengaged boss, only to
discover that the supervisor's behavior
was fueled by personal issues. "It was
really hard. She cried and explained
that she was battling depression,"
Anna said. "It was really helpful to
 CONTINUES  57

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Talking Stick - January/February 2015

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