Talking Stick - November/December 2015 - 52

Meeting Every RA Is Possible
As Tom Ellett recalls it, early in his career a mentor told him,
"If you ever have a chance to meet with everybody in your
organization, do it." In his first professional job at The Catholic
University of America in Washington, D.C., he had no trouble
meeting with 28 people. As he moved to larger organizations
and roles of greater responsibility, it was not always as easy, but
he committed to spending one-on-one time with every person in
his organizations.
Today, as senior associate vice president of student affairs at
New York University in New York City, Ellett challenges himself
and his staff to help make such a large institution feel smaller. "I
tried to pay attention to the different opportunities to do this,
and this was one that my boss supported," he says. Over the
last nine years, Ellett has met with every RA at NYU. "For me
it's been really helpful for really understanding the culture in our
residence life system in a place with 12,000 residents. And I'm
role modeling individual interactions. It's me saying, if I can find
150 hours to meet with RAs, you can make the time to get to
know each of your residents."
The 30-minute meetings have evolved over the past nine
years. In the beginning, Ellett used a standard list of questions to
guide the conversation. One day, an RA came into his office with
a notebook full of prepared answers and finished the interview in
less than ten minutes. "Her friend had told her what questions to
expect, and so she came prepared," he explains.
The dialogues have since evolved. He has four or five
different scripts to guide the meetings, "but I like to go off script
and just talk. I'll ask, how did you choose your academic program
of study? Why did you want to be an RA? Why NYU? What do
you like, and what challenges you here at NYU?"
This year he is using six "speed rounds" in his interviews, with
rotating questions like "cats, dogs, or neither?" or "favorite place
in New York City?" or "most impactful program you attended
as a student?" Then he ends with motivation questions, like
"If you could do anything, what would it be?" One question
he has asked since the first interview at NYU is, "What is your
favorite book?" One day an RA stopped him and asked if he
had read her favorite book. When he told her that he had not,
the RA quickly replied that he had once advised her, "Don't ask
a question if you're not going to use the answer." So began the
journey of what Ellett estimates has been 800 books: "These
days I get a lot of repeats, so it's fewer and fewer new books I'm
reading each year - about 55." In addition to reading the RAs'
favorite books, he blogs about his reads at whatthey'rereading.
blogspot.com.
As Ellett wrote in his blog, "By meeting with every RA on
staff I have a better understanding as to what we do well at this
institution, understand their motivation for the work we do in
student affairs (specifically residence halls), and for me personally
how to be a better father."
52

TALKING STICK

in a way that supervisors of other student
employees may not. And of course, some of
the rapport and trust between residence hall
staff members is built organically, as they
spend a significant amount of time living and
working together in their halls.
Chandra Myrick, director of residence
life at Florida State University in Tallahassee,
notes that many student staff-hall director
relationships are more characteristic of
mentoring relationships than supervisory
ones. "While RDs serve in a typical supervisory
manner of setting expectations, holding staff
accountable, and providing staff with feedback,
they also spend a significant amount of time
focused on student development. It is not
uncommon for RDs to function as counselors,
academic advisors, coaches, etc., when it
comes to their work with RAs." Jamie Van
Boxel, an area director at the University of
Minnesota-Mankato, believes that the nature
of his job is to invest in the whole RA. "It is
inherently different in residential life," he says.
"I meet every week, one-on-one with every
one of the student staff - that's a lot of time
invested in those relationships. The focus is
on performance, but also on the individual
student and his or her academic success."
Learning how to build relationships
with student staff, while still maintaining
appropriate boundaries, can present
challenges; at the very least, age and experience
can create gaps. "The dynamic seems much
different when the supervisor is closer in
age to the student staff," says Jill Childress,
assistant director of housing and dining
services for student conduct and community
standards at Oregon State University in
Corvallis. "Many newer supervisors have less
direct experience and are learning for the first
time about how to set boundaries and hold
staff accountable." Setting those boundaries
can be difficult also because there is, as
Cameron says, "a sort of a different level of
intimacy with the staff when you get to see
them where you live." In many workplace
environments, employees have a degree of
anonymity or separation; a sick day at home
means no accidental run-ins with your boss or
having to share bathroom space with your coworkers. This does not happen in the lives of
hall staff.
As professionals climb into the ranks
of leadership and move off campus, a more
concerted effort must be made to continue
http://www.whatthey'rereading.blogspot.com http://www.whatthey'rereading.blogspot.com
Talking Stick - November/December 2015

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