Children's Hospitals Today - Fall 2023 - 20

FEATURE / RESILIENCE
T
he Harvard Grant Study, which
began in 1938, is the world's
longest-running study into adult
development and well-being. In a book
summarizing the study's findings, psychiatrist
George Vaillant writes: " There
are two pillars of happiness. One is love.
The other is finding a way of coping
with life that does not push love away. "
The second pillar-a way of coping
with life that does not push love away,
especially in the face of challenges-is
the key to resilience and well-being,
Bernstein says. Research has shown
that humans suffer from negativity
capacity for empathy and peace of
mind. The process can be applied to
any situation at a children's hospital,
no matter the person's role or the circumstances,
he says. It simply requires
a worksheet, a pen and a few minutes.
How it works: Insight
on demand
Stress is a psychological process, not
a physiological one, Bernstein says. It
is caused by a person's thoughts about
negative external forces-deadlines, disasters,
or overbearing managers-not
To live a happier life, you don't need
more positive, you don't need more
sunshine - you need fewer clouds.
bias, wherein negative experiences hit
harder and impress longer than positive
experiences. People quickly come down
from the highs, while they simmer and
steam in the lows. They easily forget a
compliment but rarely forget a slight.
" What this means is that to live a
happier life, you don't need more positive,
you don't need more sunshine-
you need fewer clouds, " Bernstein says.
" You need a better way of handling
the negative. "
That is the goal of Bernstein's sevenstep
process, called Active Insight, created
to uncover and dismantle negative
thoughts that lead to stress. He likens
the process to the way farmers take
manure and, through a deliberate series
of steps, turn it into compost. What
begins as a toxin transforms into a
source of growth. Active Insight transforms
stress into insight, accelerating
from the external forces themselves.
" Until there's a thought, there's no
stress. You don't get struck by emotions
like rain. You have a thought about
your job, about your money, about your
mother, about your life. Then, stress follows, "
he says. " The key to eliminating
stress at its source, and not just managing
or escaping it, is to create a fundamental
shift in the way you think. "
In other words, it requires insight.
Typically, insights occur passively over
time, without knowing why the light
bulb turned on, Bernstein says. In contrast,
Active Insight makes the experience
of an insight active and repeatable
on demand. The practical exercise, performed
on a worksheet, is not therapy
or motivation or advice, Bernstein emphasizes.
It is more like fitness. " In the
gym, you intentionally break down
your body to provoke change, " he says.
" The worksheet is the same thing, but
for your mind. "
Performing this exercise over time
will develop a skill for reframing every
thought that leads to stress. As the skill
grows, it can be used on more challenging
subjects and will produce more
profound insights. When that happens,
people will find things that used to
bother them no longer do; they'll find
their " clouds " dissolving.
The key to successful teams
This process not only helps individuals
become more resilient in their lives
and at their job but also helps cultivate
highly productive, happy teams.
Bernstein points to a Google study that
found the No. 1 factor in the highestperforming
teams is psychological
safety. " How we connect to each other
is more important than who is on the
team, " he says. " It's teams that prioritize
giving and receiving feedback in a
way that feels safe, listen to each other,
apologize, are vulnerable and put each
other first. "
When team members use the worksheet
and normalize working through
things together, there is less blame and
anger and more honesty and empathy.
There's more accountability. And
there's a culture shift.
" If you can get good at this as a skill,
it can pay dividends. There are unlimited
ways in which having a toolkit
that changes how you think in the face
of challenges can serve you and your
team, " he says. " It'll change you not because
of any magic, but because you'll
have insights that will
capacity for honesty, accountability
and peace of mind. "
Send questions or comments to
magazine@childrenshospitals.org.
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CHILDREN'S HOSPITALS TODAY Fall 2023
Children's Hospitals Today - Fall 2023

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