Children's Hospitals Today - Fall 2023 - 21

RESILIENCE / FEATURE
Active Insight: 7 steps to resilience
Use this exercise to uncover new ways of thinking and root out stress at its source.
STEP 1
Describe something you
experience as stressful.
Start by translating stressful thoughts
onto paper in a single, concise
sentence. Frame the sentence with
" should " or " shouldn't " statements. Be
concise and honest.
▶ " My patients and their families
should treat me better. "
▶ " My boss should acknowledge
my work more. "
▶ " It shouldn't be so hard to find staff. "
STEP 2
How strongly do you feel that
belief to be true?
Rate the strength of your belief on
a scale of 0 to 10. This helps you see
how big an issue it is and allows you to
measure progress. Base your rating on
when your emotions are strongest. If
the statement is a seven or higher, it's
worth working on.
STEPS 3 A & B
How do you feel when you
believe this? How do you act
when you feel this way?
These steps illustrate the cause-andeffect
relationship between beliefs,
feelings and actions. In the official
worksheet, Bernstein lists more than 20
emotions. Name at least three.
STEP 4
Write the negation of your
statement from Step 1.
Change the verb phrase in the first
statement to negate it. Then add
" in reality " at the beginning of the
statement and " at this time " at the end
of the statement.
▶ " In reality, my patients and their
families should not treat me better
at this time. "
▶ " In reality, my boss should not
acknowledge my work more at
this time. "
▶ " In reality, it should be hard to find
staff at this time. "
Bernstein calls this the most important
step because it's where you challenge
your thinking head-on. By nature, this
is difficult because most people aren't
used to challenging their own thinking.
But this step provides the payoff. " If
you have the ability to be wrong, if
you recognize that there can be a
real growth experience in developing
compassion and empathy by seeing, by
increasing your accountability, this step
can give you a tailwind, a structure for
making that more accessible, " he says.
STEP 5
Write below all the proof
you can find that supports
the negation. List at least
5 to 10 proofs.
Imagine you're a lawyer or scientist
whose sole job is to prove the negation,
listing all the evidence. In step four, your
hand is on the light switch; in step five,
you're going to flip it. " We're not letting
go; we're not blaming or accepting;
we're just challenging our ability to see
reality more clearly, " Berstein says.
▶ " In reality, my patients and their
families should not treat me better at
this time because they are suffering
and experiencing tremendous stress
and fear. "
▶ " In reality, my boss should not
acknowledge my work more at this
time because she is carrying extra
burdens to support our team as we're
understaffed. "
▶ " In reality, it should be hard to find
staff at this time because health care
professionals are burned out. "
Read the list aloud all at once. If the
negation rings true, you know you're
finished with this step. " This step
is hard because it asks you to hold
yourself accountable for seeing the
truth, " Bernstein says. " When you
do this step for real, a change takes
place in how you feel. "
STEPS 6 A & B
How do you feel when you see
the truth of the negation? What
actions might come from this?
Some emotions might include calm,
clear, compassionate, grateful, honest,
understanding, supportive or tolerant.
Once the emotions are named,
think about actions that could come
from them. Is there something to
start doing or stop doing? Maybe it's
communicating better with
someone, apologizing for an action
or forgiving something.
STEP 7
Read the original statement
from Step 1. How strongly
do you see this statement
as true now?
Compare your rating in step two
with your rating now. The difference
between the two is called a point
drop. If the point drop is small,
Bernstein suggests starting
with a less-charged topic and
understanding that step five is not
asking you to condone anything
or keep things the same. You are
focusing on a truth as it appears in a
single moment. With more practice
and sincerity, this point drop will
increase. And so will your insights.
Try the official
worksheet for free as
part of a virtual course at
resilienceacademy.com
CHILDREN'S HOSPITALS TODAY Fall 2023
21
http://www.resilienceacademy.com
Children's Hospitals Today - Fall 2023

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of Children's Hospitals Today - Fall 2023
