Council on Aging Answers 2015 - 142

COUNCIL ON AGING - ORANGE COUNTY

Leaving A Legacy
Sharing Your Life
in an Ethical will
n Laura A. Long, MS
Many of us have a deep human need to pass on the
stuff of our lives to those we love and those who will
come after us. Your will or trust is a legal document that
transfers your tangible property to your heirs, but an
"ethical will" provides a way to pass on the intangible:
your knowledge, experience, values, hopes and dreams
for your family and friends.
Although not legally binding, an ethical will may be
placed with your will or trust documents and provides
a personal context for your estate. A will answers the
question, "What do I want my loved ones to have?" but
an ethical will addresses "What do I want my loved ones
to know?
While facing terminal cancer, best-selling author
Elizabeth Edwards, talked about the "letter to my children" that she had been writing for several years as she
thought about not being with her children as they grew
up. "It's more than 'how do you get the core out of a
head of lettuce,'" she told People magazine. "It's 'how
you choose who you marry and what to expect from
that, how you choose a church.' " In other words, an
ethical will is an intentional, positive statement of all the
things you never want to go unsaid. It can be simple as a
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Answers Guide 2015

collection of family-favorite recipes, including the secret
to a melt-in-your-mouth flaky pie crust, to something
as profound as a personal experience with God. Ethical
wills are as unique and precious as the people who write
them.
How do you start?
n First, visualize those to whom you are writing and
keep them in mind as you plan.
n Second, jot down some notes along thematic lines
to help you outline your thoughts. These themes can be
things like love and marriage, business success or ethics,
parenting, spirituality and faith, or important places or
people in your life.
n Third, don't be overwhelmed by the task; consider
it as a work-in-progress. You can start briefly with just a
few thoughts, and you might find it easier to use a tape
recorder than to face an empty sheet of paper.
n Fourth, always keep your message positive, uplifting, and encouraging. Words are powerful and can
linger long after we are gone. As you choose your words,
think about what your loved ones will want most to hear
and to know from you.
For more information about writing ethical wills,
look for Susan B. Turnbull's helpful workbook, The
Wealth of Your Life: A Step-by-Step Guide for Creating Your Ethical Will" at www.yourethicalwill.com . If
you wish, a professional personal historian can help you
organize your thoughts and craft your language. For
personal historians in your area, visit the Association of
Personal Historians' website at www.personalhistorians.
org .

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Council on Aging Answers 2015

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