Focus Magazine - Summer 2013 - 13

FRONT OF THE ROOM
Brian Lange

Focus on Intention

The key in
these situations
is to focus on
accepting where
the learner is
at that moment.

o often, we struggle for—even train for—
finding the perfect turn-of-a-phrase or
suitable words that will soothe or remedy
a question, position or answer that a learner has
sent our way. We feel the pressure, the eyes of
the audience upon us, the desire for the perfect
salvo to lift us from this potentially
uncomfortable or crucial moment.
I’d like to suggest that we relax just a bit.
Standing in the front of the room doesn’t mean
we are expected to become superhuman,
prescient or other-worldly. And, yet—it can feel
like an awful lot is riding on our answer:
• The learner’s future engagement.
• Others may be swayed (“negatively”) to
“agree” with the learner’s position.
• The audience’s respect/credibility.
• Judgment/opinion(s) of other trainers/leaders
in the room.

Etc., etc.!
Let’s explore a “typical” example of the kind of
comment that can feel challenging. What might
you be tempted to respond with to the following
learner observation shared during a class: “I’ve
seen programs roll-out like this before—and
there’s a flurry of initial activity—then, it just
fades away until some executive reads the next
great sales book and the cycle begins again.”
Now, STOP. Really consider what you think
you might say in this situation. Pause and come
back to this text in a moment!
Based on what you realized you might have
said, now ask yourself whether your response in
some way attempted to “fix” or “solve” the issue
for the learner. Did you ask a question to attempt to clarify/gain more insight (probe)? Did
you offer additional info on how this program
will be different based on manager coaching
guides/training/etc.? Did you attempt to “sell”

the other on the benefits of this program?
While it’s natural to want to help the other see
things differently, or get them “on board,” you
don’t know yet what the other needs from you
(Reassurance? Background info? Upcoming
plans? Compassionate ear? Pep talk?) So,
perhaps it’s wisest to let the other carry the ball
for a bit longer. This strategy may seem
counterintuitive:
Consider not trying to offer the ultimately
perfect, sanguine, world-class, pitch-perfect
answer! Focus, rather, on intention.
Let’s take a look at some potential scenarios:
Situation
“Wrong” learner
answer

Possible Trainer Intention(s):
Preserve other’s self-esteem and
ensure future participation

Oppositional
or contrarian
point-of-view

Help other feel heard (without
agreeing/disagreeing): “And, so for
you…” (recap other’s position)

Learner articulates
problem/concern

Prove understanding … seek “How
can I help?” This shares solutiongeneration with the learner.

The key in these situations is to focus on
accepting where the learner is at that moment—
and challenging yourself not to fix/resolve other’s
issue with your first response. I always keep a
mindset that positions me for flexing to the
given situation at hand: “It’s all GOOD!” This
guarantees a relaxed, accepting, inviting tone
that conveys my intention of including (and
celebrating?) a participant’s input. I find a way to
roll with whatever the learner has put out
there—without risking judgment, condescension
or any other unintended consequence of
evaluating or shooting-down someone’s input.
Intention trumps word-choice every time. If
you desire to demonstrate acceptance, help your
learner feel heard; and respond to the other in a
way that supports and ensures continued
engagement. Then your intention will be clear—
and the right words will emerge. I

Brian Lange, blange@perim.com, is with Perim Consulting and serves as lead facilitator for SPBT’s PrimeTime! For Trainers Core and Masters workshops. He blogs at www.WorkplaceInfluence.blogspot.com.

FOCUS | SUMMER 2013 | www.spbt.org

http://www.WorkplaceInfluence.blogspot.com http://www.spbt.org

Focus Magazine - Summer 2013

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