GRAND Magazine - July/August 2013 - (Page 18-19)
love & marriage
Falling in lust again
Grandparenting can rekindle, or kill, the romance
By shelA deAN
Photo credIt: ©BleNd IMAGes llc
w
Shela Dean is a relationship coach,
speaker, and the bestselling
author of Frequent Foreplay Miles:
Your Ticket to Total Intimacy
and ReDate Your Mate: 4 Steps
to Falling in Love All Over Again
(Boomer Edition).
18 GRAND
July AuGust 2013
hen I learned I was becoming a grandmother, I
thought, OMG! Am I officially old? Must I wear
sensible shoes? Will Dale start wearing tattered
cardigans? Will we still be the other’s sex symbol?
Like most long-married couples, we were settled
into the routine of married life—content but drifting in
somewhat oblivious inertia. Enter Addison and Kennedy,
providing an unexpected lens through which to see
each other anew. Watching Dale as a grandfather
brings into crystal clarity what made me fall in love: his
humor, imagination, kindness, and generous heart. Our
grand girls adore him, and their adoration reminds me
of why I, too, adore him.
The girls bring out the best in both of us. Their
innocence, curiosity, energy, and enthusiasm for life
give us a more youthful perspective. We play, laugh,
and do more. We’re more vital and, as a result, more
frisky . . . if you know what I mean. I never imagined
that becoming a grandparent would add spark in the
bedroom. Happily, I still wear cute shoes. As for Dale,
he’s still my sex symbol, but I took no chance and gave
all his cardigans to Goodwill!
Grandchildren can boost your marriage energy.
However, it may not be enough. Divorce is epidemic
among Boomers, but it isn’t the only answer. In one
study, 80% of couples who described their marriage
as very unhappy but had avoided divorce, five years
later described their marriage as very happy. It wasn’t
magic. It was work.
The reasons to get married and the reasons to stay
married are not necessarily the same. You can remodel
your marriage into one that works for you. Like any
remodeling project, you need a plan:
1. Identify what you like and wouldn’t change.
2. Identify what you’d like to change, and find
agreement where you can.
3. Identify those areas in which you need help, and
then get additional help.
Be willing to take the first step of talking about your
marriage. Things can’t get better unless you are willing
to do so. Remodeling your marriage may not be easy or
quick, but it’s worth it.
click image to watch shela dean’s How
Can I Fall Back in Love with My Husband?
July AuGust 2013 GRAND
19
http://www.sheladean.com/
http://www.amazon.com/Frequent-Foreplay-Ticket-Intimacy-ebook/dp/B004KSR2HM/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1369769662&sr=1-1&keywords=Foreplay+Miles
http://www.amazon.com/ReDate-Steps-Falling-Again-ebook/dp/B008NXHZHC/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1369769580&sr=1-1&keywords=ReDate+Your+Mate
Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of GRAND Magazine - July/August 2013
GRAND Magazine - July/August 2013
Contents
Transforming Retirement
The Thrill Is Gone. Not.
Falling in Lust Again
Nana-to-Be Showers
Is Baby’s Wee Bed Safe?
When Harry Meets Baby
10 Steps to a Child-Proof House
Confessions of a Slightly Controlling, Madly in Love Nana
All About Baby!
Smart Ways to Save for Your Grandchildren’s College
The Low-Down on Five Stand-Out Vehicles
Let the Games Begin!
Hot Toys for Cool Kids!
Picking Berries with Granddad
Fun in the Sun!
Picking Up Where We Left Off
A Bond So Deep
GRAND Magazine - July/August 2013
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