GRAND Magazine - July/August 2013 - (Page 54-55)
grandparent rights
Must Reading
for Every
GRANDparent
Photo credIt: ©wIll selAruP
Picking up
where we left off
reconnecting when a grandchild
reappears in your life
By susAN hoffMAN
D
ear Susan:
After six years of no contact, our son called and asked to come
for a visit. He and his wife arrived with two pre-teen strangers—
reappearing in our lives as unexpectedly as they had disappeared.
The parents have their nerve expecting us to carry on as if nothing
happened!
The estrangement began when our son and daughter-in-law moved
out of state, cutting us off from our two grandkids with no explanation.
Our calls and emails went unanswered. We sent cards for every occasion, but they were acknowledged.
The only way my husband, Evan, and I got through was by attending
the Lost Access support group. Being able to talk with other grandparents in similar situations and to learn coping strategies was invaluable.
Now that they’re back in our lives again, I am having trouble holding
in my pain and anger. Evan has let it go and is reconnecting by playing
video games online with Jason and taking Stella shopping whenever he
sees her. But I can’t seem to connect with either grandchild or to get
over my anger toward my son and DIL.
— Simmering Grandma Lynn
Dear SGL:
I understand your desire to discuss your feelings with your son and his
54 GRAND
July AuGust 2013
wife. Bottled-up anger can stand in the way of moving forward. But
venting your emotions puts you at risk of losing what you have. You are
better off developing some coping strategies to deal with the anger.
Once you let go of anger, it will be easier to build
more positive relationships with your grandkids. Instead
of focusing on those years you all missed, get to know
who they are and what they like now, and help them get
to know you.
Rebuilding that connection will take time. Start by
finding activities you can do together. The teen years are
tough to begin with. Maybe you can help ease that transition for your grandkids and strengthen your bond with
them by offering your unconditional love and support.
susan hoffman is the author of A Precious Bond
and the director of AfGGc, producers of A
Precious Bond, the first documentary film about
unreasonably denied grandparent visitation. Visit
apreciousbond.com for more information or to
order the film or book.
Support
Grandparents
We offer FREE
counseling to
grandparents who
are struggling to
reconnect with their
grandchildren.
Help
Grandchildren
Grandparent
involvement helps
grandchildren to
thrive and become
well adjusted.
DoNAtE
For a $13.50
donation,
we will send you a
copy of our book
Grand Wishes.
July AuGust 2013 GRAND
55
http://www.apreciousbond.com/A_Precious_Bond/About_The_Book.html
http://www.grandparentchildconnect.org/Advocates_For_Grandparent_Grandchild_Connection/Welcome.html
http://www.apreciousbond.com/A_Precious_Bond/About_The_Book.html
http://www.apreciousbond.com/A_Precious_Bond/About_The_Film.html
http://www.apreciousbond.com/A_Precious_Bond/About_The_Film.html
http://www.apreciousbond.com/A_Precious_Bond/Welcome.html
Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of GRAND Magazine - July/August 2013
GRAND Magazine - July/August 2013
Contents
Transforming Retirement
The Thrill Is Gone. Not.
Falling in Lust Again
Nana-to-Be Showers
Is Baby’s Wee Bed Safe?
When Harry Meets Baby
10 Steps to a Child-Proof House
Confessions of a Slightly Controlling, Madly in Love Nana
All About Baby!
Smart Ways to Save for Your Grandchildren’s College
The Low-Down on Five Stand-Out Vehicles
Let the Games Begin!
Hot Toys for Cool Kids!
Picking Berries with Granddad
Fun in the Sun!
Picking Up Where We Left Off
A Bond So Deep
GRAND Magazine - July/August 2013
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