GRAND Magazine - January/February 2019 Subscribe Today! - 25

grandparenting
Tell them what a consultant is and tell them that your door or
your text or email is always open to them and that you will always
LOVE it when they ask for help or for advice of any kind. Tell them
that you know their parents are always first, but you are the backup.
And tell them you want to know everything you can about them,
because the more you know, the more helpful you can be.
If you don't live close enough to your grandkids to have regular Grandparent Dates, carve out some special, individual time
when you are visiting their family or they are visiting you. And
in the "between times," get on Skype or FaceTime with them
one-on-one.

Don't editorialize too much during these date discussions. Just
ask a lot of questions and listen. And take notes.
Use the great word "really" to keep them talking. You can say
"really" so many ways and in so many contexts. "Really!" as in
"Wow!" "Really" as in "Whoa, I never knew that." "Really?" as in "Are
you serious?" "Really!?" as in "What the heck!" With the appropriate inflection, that one word can keep kids talking and connecting.
Have them make a list in your notebook of "things I am sure I
will do in my life," and "things I might do in my life," and "things
I will never do in my life." When I (Richard) asked that last question to my ten-year-old granddaughter on one of our dates, I was
hoping for something like "I will never do drugs," but she thought
for a moment and said, "I will never ride a bike naked in public!" I
said, "Really!?" and she said, "Yeah, because when we were in San
Francisco, there was a parade and this guy rode by naked and I
said to myself right then, 'I will never do that!'"
25 GRAND

JANUARY FEBRUARY 2019

"Get up to speed on whatever
"language" they are currently using
whether it's Instagram or Snapchat
or WhatsApp or whatever, and when
they change, you change, and use
texts as the constant."

As your grandkids get into their mid- and late-teens, you want
to transition into their consultants and their non-judgmental advisors, and perhaps their financial supporters for education and
other worthwhile pursuits; and those earlier Grandparent Dates
will set the stage for that.

GRAND is pleased to welcome New York Times
#1 Bestselling Authors Richard and Linda Eyre
as regular columnists. The Eyres' parenting
and life-balance books have reached millions
and been translated into a dozen languages.
As fellow baby boomers, their passion and
their writing focus has now shifted to the
joy of grandparenting. Linda's latest book is
Grandmothering, and Richard's is Being a Proactive Grandfather.

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