GRAND Magazine - March/April 2019 - 16

caring for our parents
- together - through the best plan for giving up the vehicle.
(Treat your loved one with respect versus like an errant teen who
crashed into the mailbox for the third time.)
* Ask the senior's family lawyer to speak to your loved one
about giving up the car.
* Consider arranging
for an independent driving
evaluation.
* If your senior is still
resistant, look into your loved
one's eyes and gently say, "I
cannot get a call that you've
died on the road or lose you
to the grief you will descend
into if you hurt somebody. I
want you to see the kids grow
up, see them graduate and sit
in the front row at their weddings. And guess what? I'll visit
more."
* If your loved one still can't
come to terms, you likely need
to remove the car from the
premises.
* Or disable the car by purchasing a super easy to use Lock Wheel
Clamp/Lock Boot, $25.
Sheehy emphasizes that the most important concept for caregivers to employ is being willing to ask for help.
"The place to start," says Sheehy, "is by accessing the Elder Care
Locator by visiting ElderCare.Gov and entering your zip code (or
by calling 800-677-1116). It's like a one-stop-shop for the care
of older Americans. It's free. All if you have to do is call them and
say 'do you have a care coordinator that can access my husband's
safety?' They have support programs for family caregivers and
you're perfectly welcome to go back to them to say something
didn't work."
16 GRAND

MARCH APRIL 2019

Even so, Sheehy worked with Ginna's son and daughter to convince him to stop driving.
When my Gram's car was given to a relative 21 years ago, we
"We were scratching our heads," says Sheehy. "We wondered:
didn't yet have smartphones, Uber rides and so forth. Today, we
how do we approach this very proud, very stubborn professor
have services galore available to craft an easier experience for the
who teaches everybody else and drives everywhere all the time?
caregiver and our loved one:
Driving was a big facet of Robert's independence. Like all people
* Teach your senior about how most grocery stores are
who are aging, mobility is one of the hardest things to give up.
expanding into curbside delivery. Your loved one simply orders
"One day, Robert was backing out of his driveway onto a
food online from the home computer, takes an Uber to the store
rather busy street, and a police car was driving at a good clip -
to meet the staff in the parking lot, watches staff load the bags
and Robert backed right into the cop's car!
into the car, and - voila! - is chauffeured home.
"The officer was very polite but said, 'I think we need to discuss
leaving the driving to somebody else.'
"Robert was unhappy about losing his car," says Sheehy,
"but most places - even small towns - have elder transportation services. So a senior might have a lot of resistance at first,
but for an older person sharing transportation can be a social
experience because they're riding with other people from their
neighborhood."
My gram was born in 1912 - four years after the Model T rambled down country roads likely scaring the horses. One hundred
* But - I can hear you shouting - your loved one doesn't do
years (and change) later, cars are screaming down interstates at 70
tech? Introduce him to GoGoGrandparents.com that is accessed
mph and most of us don't even blink. Add to that the advanced
with an old-fashioned phone call. Whether your loved one needs
ages we're now reaching and you have a cocktail for potential
to visit the doctor, pick up a meal or see a matinee, one call to this
peril.
site and a driver appears.
You and I are the generation on the frontline of this moder* If your senior cherishes her tech, give her a smartphone made
nity, running on high speeds and "third act" ages. We're the ones
for seniors (today they come in "easy mode," hearing-aid compatiwho must say, "I love you too much to let you drive. Yes, your
ble, and at howler monkey decibels).
driving days are over, but together we'll figure out all that you
can do."

Fly like an eagle

We wondered: how do we
approach this very proud, very
stubborn professor who teaches
everybody else and drives
everywhere all the time?

How a Harvard prof wasn't having it

Today, Sheehy chuckles as she recants how her new beau
- Robert Emmett Ginna, Jr. - came to live life without a car. A
Harvard professor for two decades, cofounder of People magazine, a WWII Navy veteran, and an expert on Ireland, among many
more lifelong passions - Mr. Ginna is not the dude who'd "go
gently into the good night" should one think to pocket his car key.

Wendy Irvine is a travel writer living in Atlanta
with her twin teens and husband. She writes
the JellyfishinJuly.com blog that features
tips and travel hacks created to protect your
savings, sanity and safety when traveling with
the cutest among us. Follow her on Twitter
@JellyfishinJuly.

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GRAND Magazine - March/April 2019

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of GRAND Magazine - March/April 2019