GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 33

health
that I was an enabler and that she and I were co-dependent, a
term borrowed from a popular self-help book. There was talk of
allowing our loved ones to "hit bottom", of establishing boundaries, of "tough love." Sadly, in my advocacy work I have met
scores of bereaved family members whose last encounter with
their loved one was a rejection based on "tough love."

* This disease is characterized by relapse. Given its
lethality, efforts to prevent relapse are critical. Taking
medication is the most effective prevention. Act immediately if you suspect that a person in recovery is relapsing.

* Ignore phrases like "tough love," "codependency,"
In a book that I have written about Giana and her journey, I
and "they need to hit bottom." It is desirable for you to
give some advice to families in the hope that they will not expe- insist that your loved one comply with treatment recrience the sorrow that we have.
ommendations and for you to put in place strategies to
make that more likely. Be outspoken and insistent but do
it with compassion and love.
Here are some important points:
* Act immediately and aggressively if you suspect your
loved one is in danger-early intervention improves
outcomes.
* Seek medical intervention by qualified addiction medicine doctors, and carefully check the professional credentials of staff. Therapists should be professionally qualified
as therapists, for example. Many people with OUD have
other mental health issues such as depression that must be
treated by qualified personnel.
* Shame and stigma will only hurt your efforts to help.
Addiction is a chronic, relapsing disease, and allowing
people, especially treatment staff, to blame the patient
should never be tolerated. Reject anything that implies
"character defects."
* Understand from the beginning that opioid use disorder
is a lifelong medical issue. Your loved one's disease may go
into remission, but vigilance will be necessary for life.
33 GRAND

SEPT-OCT 2019

* Research into opioids continues at a quick pace,
and thus the best practices of treatment will change as
well. Make sure you do your homework, and if something doesn't seem to be working, insist that changes are
made.

Elise Schiller is a writer and opioid
epidemic task force leader. After
a thirty-year career in education
and family services in Philadelphia,
she is now retired to volunteer
with the task force and write.
Schiller sits on the advisory board
of the Philadelphia Department of
Behavioral Health and Intellectual
disability Services (DBHIDS), and
she has served on the Philadelphia
Mayor's Task Force on the Opioid
Epidemic. Her memoir about the loss
of her daughter, Even if Your Heart
Would Listen: Losing My Daughter
to Heroin debuts on August 27, 2019

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GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019

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