GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019 - 9

grandparenting
You and your child are now parts of each other's extended families. And your
now-married son or daughter will (and should) devote most of his or her family
time to the new spouse and new family.
As we grandparents see this process clearly and accept it, we can be happy
in our evolving role of involved, supportive, proactive grandparents who don't
overstep.
The best way we know to get going on this consulting role and to make it positive for your children, as well as for your grandchildren, is to invite your child and
his or her spouse out for dinner at a very nice restaurant (your treat) and to have a
very specific agenda that we like to call a "Five-Facet Review." Steer the discussion
along the following path:
1. We love your kids (our grandkids) so much and want to be a positive influence in their lives, as well as a support and supplement to you as their parents.
You are in charge, you have the stewardship, and we just want to explore ways
that we can help that will fit in with your goals. Where would you like our help
and how, at your direction, can we be part of your parenting team?
2. We know it all starts by really knowing the kids and understanding what
they need and what you are concerned about, so we wanted to just sit here
with you during dinner and take notes and have you teach me more about our
grandkids. Then, I hope you will share with us what your worries are and how
we might help.
3. If it's okay, can we talk about each of the kids in a framework where we can
organize our notes? Something of a "Five-Facet Review." Starting with James,
can you just tell me what comes to your minds about how he is doing physically,
mentally, socially, emotionally, and spiritually? Just stream-of-consciousness
about James, and maybe allow us to ask a couple of questions here and there so
we really get up-to-date.
4. So, first, how is James doing physically? ...

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9 GRAND

SEPT-OCT 2019

Richard and Linda Eyre's parenting and life-balance
books have reached millions and been translated into a
dozen languages. As fellow Baby Boomers, their passion
and their writing focus has now shifted to the joy of
Grandparenting. Linda's latest book is Grandmothering,
Richard's is Being a Proactive grandfather, and their
latest co-authored book is Life in Full. All three of these
are now on sale on Amazon.

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GRAND Magazine - September/October 2019

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