GRAND Magazine - Fall 2024 - 38

legacy
Two envelopes
BY RUSTY ROSMAN
We all know this to be true:
We all die.
We all mourn the passing
of loved ones.
We all must deal with the details
related to our loved ones' death.
hose words are from the introduction to Two
Envelopes: What You Want Your Loved Ones to
Know When You Die, a book written from my
experience with so many friends and loved ones
who left important details unresolved. In the book,
I share what I have learned in helping my parents
and countless others guide their loved ones after
the death of a family member. I developed a twoenvelope
system, which makes it easier to distinguish
what you need to know immediately after your loved
one dies-and all the things you need to deal with
after the funeral.
When you die, there are so many things your family
and loved ones immediately need to know. Did you
already purchase a pre-planned funeral? Do you
want to be buried or cremated? Are you a veteran?
These are the kinds of questions you answer and put
in Envelope #1. One of the most common questions
families face is: What will their loved one wear in the
coffin during visitation? You may have a very specific
38 GRAND FALL 2024
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choice in mind, but most family members are
not mind readers, so you need to write down
what you want to wear!
Have you married more than once in your
life? Will you be buried with your first spouse
or your last spouse? This too is a question
that many people have to deal with, but
most often they do not convey their preference
to their loved ones. You need to discuss
this very complex issue now.
"
This process does not replace
a will or trust. Two Envelopes is
your voice telling your family
what you want them to know.
I was so very grateful
that Missy Buchanan,
the best-selling author of
many books on faith and
aging, agreed to write the
Foreword to Two Envelopes. I
was especially touched when
she wrote, " Two Envelopes is
a uniquely personal resource,
like sitting at the kitchen table
with a dear friend sharing
"
Envelope #2 will be opened after the funeral and
initial mourning. This envelope contains all of the
other " stuff " your family needs to know. Which bills
are on autopay? Where are your computer passwords?
Who gets the grandfather clock? Who gets
the special teacup? In this envelope, you can enclose a
love letter to your family.
This process does not replace a will or trust. Two
Envelopes is your voice telling your family what you
want them to know.
coffee and conversation about hard decisions. " That's
exactly what I want readers to feel as they read the
book and complete the steps suggested in the book.
I want it to be a conversation between myself and the
reader. I know that the Two Envelope plan will provide
your family members with a clear and concise way to
recognize and honor your late-life decisions.
Most of all, Two Envelopes gives you peace of
mind-and comfort to your dearest loved ones.
Rusty Rosman is a proud grandmom and firsttime
author of Two Envelopes. She spent
years helping her parents and her in-laws as
they aged. Over the years, Rusty saw many of
their friends and their families conflicted over
final arrangements and family confrontations.

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GRAND Magazine - Fall 2024

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of GRAND Magazine - Fall 2024