GRAND Magazine - Spring 2024 - 24
families
Maternal vs paternal
BY VICTORIA BISSELL BROWN
C
armen Ruiz whispered, " I would not advise you to write this, but
it seems to me that there's always a closer relationship with the
mother's side. "
I was in the middle of my interview with Carmen about being a
granddaughter in the 1950s and a grandmother today. The audio
recording catches my burst of laughter at that moment. I understood
Carla's whisper; I knew this maternal grandmother's advantage was
a sensitive subject. But I had already interviewed 65 women, so I also
knew that there was no way to step around the topic; maternal grandmothers'
advantage loomed too large in granddaughters' memories. I
could not explain grandmothers' relationships with mothers, fathers, or
grandchildren if I left that advantage out of my book about Nana in the
Fifties.
" I knew this maternal grandmother's advantage was a sensitive subject.
But I had already interviewed 65 women, so I also knew that there
was no way to step around the topic; "
Fully three-quarters of the women I interviewed had felt more at
home with their maternal grandmothers than with their paternals. Most
of them liked their paternal grandmothers, but the fifty women with
two grandmothers were more comfortable with their maternal grandmothers,
felt more familiar with them, told many more stories about
them, knew more about their maternals' family histories, work histories,
marriages, health, and deaths. In interview after interview, granddaughters
described their maternal grandmothers as " fun-loving, " " energetic, "
" easy-going, " and " outgoing. " Many paternals were described with
words never used for maternals: " reserved, " " withdrawn, " and " emotionally
distant. " Maternal grandmothers were also more apt to be physically
affectionate. Only a third of these Fifties granddaughters called
their grandmothers by some special name like Mema, Tita, Muz, or
Mimsey, but well over two-thirds of those cozy names went to maternal
grandmothers.
24 GRAND SPRING 2024
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GRAND Magazine - Spring 2024
Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of GRAND Magazine - Spring 2024
Contents
GRAND Magazine - Spring 2024 - Cover1
GRAND Magazine - Spring 2024 - 2
GRAND Magazine - Spring 2024 - 3
GRAND Magazine - Spring 2024 - Contents
GRAND Magazine - Spring 2024 - 5
GRAND Magazine - Spring 2024 - 6
GRAND Magazine - Spring 2024 - 7
GRAND Magazine - Spring 2024 - 8
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