GRAND Magazine - Spring 2024 - 25

families
Maternal grandmothers were two times more
likely to operate as " providers " for their adult children's
families, stepping up in times of need; and
maternal grandmothers dominated the role of
" kinkeeper, " the person who regularly brought
adult children, their spouses, and their children
altogether.
Maternal grandmothers in my group were not
younger than paternals, not more wealthy, not more
widowed, averaged no fewer children or grandchildren,
did not live geographically closer, and did not
see their grandchildren more often. Only eleven of
the interviewees witnessed or later learned of hostility
between their mothers and paternal grandmothers.
These women did not favor their maternals because
those grandmothers had taken them on vacations
attended all their ball games or given them fantastic
gifts. None of that stuff made a difference. (502)
So what did moms' mothers do in the Fifties to gain
the advantage? What was their performance edge?
"
The mother-daughter bond is still
strong, but it no longer dictates
the emotional distance between
grandchildren and paternal
grandmothers.
25 GRAND SPRING 2024
PROVIDERS
Granddaughters in the 1950s saw their maternal
grandmothers providing domestic help when
mom had a new baby, housing mom, and the
kids when dad was fighting in Korea, moving into
the kids' house when mom was suddenly widowed,
or providing food and school shoes when dad lost his
job. Fifties moms asked their maternal grandmothers
for help in tough times because mutual care was the
insurance plan built into lifelong female bonds with
sisters, mothers, aunts, and grannies. The result? Fifties
granddaughters grew up feeling that their maternal
grandmothers cared more about them, and were
more devoted to their welfare than paternals.
KINKEEPERS
Maternal grandmothers in the Fifties were far more
"
likely than paternals to host Sunday dinners, holiday
celebrations, summer picnics, and week-long family
visits. And parents were far more likely to pile the kids
into the car for a trip to the maternal grandmother's
house than to the paternal's. This meant that grandchildren
got to play with their cousins at the maternal
grandmother's house and could sit amidst a group of
maternal kinfolk telling family stories. Maternal grandmothers
did not gain their advantage by being out
in the yard pitching baseballs,
snuggling babies, or having long talks
with an individual grandchild; they were too busy in
the kitchen for any of that. Granddaughters felt more
attached to their kinkeeping maternal grandmothers
because they were the ones associated with the fun of
playing with cousins and with a deep sense of family
identity, of " us-ness. "
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Victoria Bissell Brown retired in 2014
from teaching American history at Grinnell
College in Iowa. She and her husband
moved to Havertown, PA., where
they are down-the-street (maternal)
grandparents for their three grandchildren
and Victoria works on her Nana-inthe-Fifties
book.
https://www.facebook.com/GRANDmagazine https://www.grandmagazine.com/2024/03/maternal-grandparents-vs-paternal-grandparents/
GRAND Magazine - Spring 2024

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