GRAND Magazine - Summer 2024 - 12

ask dr. gramma karen
* " Let My Kids Win at a Game on Purpose? Never! "
* " Don't Let Your Kids Win "
* " Here's One More Reason Why You Shouldn't Just Let Kids Win at Things "
As psychologist and author Sara
Dimerman points out, " Games and sports
with set rules are good for kids' development
and give them a feeling of control. "
She also points out how kids get
to be social equals when they are playing
games and sports with their parents/
grandparents.
I want to emphasize that games and
sports present opportunities for some solid
life lessons. They are an ideal time to:
ning* Acknowledge the highs of win:
Say, for example, " You must be feeling
really good! You played hard and well.
Congratulations! "
Some children handle loss by sulking, others* Acknowledge the lows of losing.
by getting angry, or tantrumming, or throwing
pieces of the game or sport around.
Psychologist Dimerman's advice in these
situations is most instructive and spot on:
" I encourage parents to acknowledge and
validate their child's feelings with something
like, 'I know it's upsetting and frustrating to
lose a game, it's normal to feel that way,'
she says. I discourage parents from saying
things like, 'Don't be such a sore loser, there
will be plenty more opportunities for winning'
or 'Aw, don't feel bad, let's go get
some ice cream to make you feel better.'
" Allowing your child to experience [their]
emotions, acknowledging them as valid, but
not giving them too much attention, is the
best approach. Also, make sure to model
appropriate responses to not coming in first
or winning all the time. So, if they hear you
saying things such as 'Well, I may not have
won, but I sure had fun,' after you've played
a game together, [they] will learn from your
* " Grandparents Question Participation Trophies "
* " Grandparents Lament: 'Oh, Those Damn Travel Teams! "
* " Grandchildren Teaching Grandparents "
12 GRAND Summer 2024
A Must--‐Read for
Grandparents
A Must Read for
Everyone!
good example. "
for a game or sport is acceptable, as long* Call out cheating: Changing the rules
as all parties involved agree to the changes.
Explain how " winning " by deception, by
gaining an unearned advantage is not winning;
how it reflects badly on one's character
and causes people to dislike and distrust a
cheater.
behavior* Call out disrespect, arrogant, or rude
: As did the grandfather when his
grandson was rude to him about always winning
in their tennis games and calling him a
loser, there are times when a stern showing
of disapproval is necessary.
Click to continue reading
Look Inside
" This book...set me
straight. I wasn't sure
where my boundaries
were as a grandma... "
This book takes the
uncertainty and thorniness
out of relationships.
No more being confused,
or unsure about what to
do, often doing something
that makes a relationship
even worse!
" Karen identifies the
cause and effect of
family issues in plain
and simple language. "
--‐ Amazon.com Reviewers
Karen L. Rancourt, Ph.D., advice
columnist, is also an author. Her
most recent book is, It's All About
Relationships: New Ways to Make
Them Healthy and Fulfilling, at
Home and at Work.
Show me the book!

https://www.facebook.com/GRANDmagazine https://www.pbssocal.org/education/families/should-you-let-your-kids-win-or-even-cheat https://www.helpmesara.com/ https://www.helpmesara.com/ https://www.grandmagazine.com/2024/07/do-you-let-your-grandkids-win/ https://www.pbssocal.org/education/families/should-you-let-your-kids-win-or-even-cheat http://www.Amazon.com http://www.Amazon.com https://mommybites.com/col2/big-kid/grandparents-question-participation-trophies/ https://www.askdrgrammakaren.com http://www.karenrancourt.com/ https://mommybites.com/col2/grandparents/ask-dr-gramma-karen-grandparents-lament-oh-those-damn-travel-teams/ https://www.amazon.com/Its-All-About-Relationships-Fulfilling/dp/098962742X/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1553688108&sr=1-2-fkmrnull https://www.amazon.com/Its-All-About-Relationships-Fulfilling/dp/098962742X/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1553688108&sr=1-2-fkmrnull https://mommybites.com/col2/grandparents/grandchildren-teaching-grandparents/ https://www.amazon.com/Its-All-About-Relationships-Fulfilling/dp/098962742X/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1553688108&sr=1-2-fkmrnull https://www.amazon.com/Its-All-About-Relationships-Fulfilling/dp/098962742X/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1553688108&sr=1-2-fkmrnull

GRAND Magazine - Summer 2024

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of GRAND Magazine - Summer 2024