GRAND Magazine - Winter 2024 - 12

aging
Looking back on my childhood, I recognize that
my primary models for aging were my grandparents.
My seven siblings and I respected them and
their esteemed role in the family. They were kind and
caring, never flustered, which seemed a superpower
that brought out the best in us. Indeed, their words
and actions impacted us, but even more so, it was
their way of being. Knowing such a presence was possible
led me to embody it.
"
I've realized that when we embrace
rather than resist aging, we embody
the wisdom it brings and inspire
future generations.
While experiencing the stages of life from girlhood
to motherhood and, most recently, as a grandmother,
I have realized the extraordinary power my grandparents
had. They had wisdom gleaned from experience,
which is a benefit of aging. It gave them clear
priorities, acceptance of life, and a quiet steadiness.
Grandma was a skilled gardener and cook who loved
reading enough to walk two miles to the library to
borrow books. She nurtured us with home remedies
when we were sick, which soothed our bodies and
souls. Her touch was both gentle and firm.
Grandpa taught us card games like Canasta and
joked with us - ever light and playful. He sent us letters
written on his typewriter when we were away and
kept abreast of what was happening in our lives and
12 GRAND WINTER 2023
"
the world. Grandma and Grandpa were a great match;
they showed respect for others and acceptance of
what they had, which always seemed to be enough.
They embraced life's cycles and did not try to change
what they could not reverse, including aging.
When we became grandparents, we wanted to be
like them - calm, competent, and caring. My husband
and I have lived our entire lives contributing
to our communities and taking time for outdoor
recreation. But when we are with the grandchildren,
we are in the present. We slow down, silence our
phones, and share moments of wonder and delight.
In this place of wonder, time expands. An ageless
way of being connects us with our shared humanity
rather than a particular time or place. And my grandparents
were indeed from another time. Grandma
always wore dresses, whether cooking or shoveling
snow; I never saw her wear pants. Grandpa wore a
dress shirt at home, ran errands, or went on a picnic.
Their attire was formal, distinguishing them from
baby boomers, who still dress casually regardless of
age. Our jeans are well-worn.
Our attire and my generation's experiences are
different from my grandparents'. We have more
modern conveniences than they had, granting us
more free time. Even when we age, we are still bicycling,
kayaking, yoga, and other activities. These differences
are big to us but insignificant to the grandchildren
who view us as models for aging. What they
tune into is not what we do but how they feel in our
presence.
What others feel reflects our internal status. Are we
at peace or resisting what is happening? We can mitigate
some signs of aging but cannot stop it. Rather
than lamenting the loss of skin elasticity, we may
acknowledge gains in heart elasticity. I marvel at how
free I am to give and receive love, forgive and ask
for forgiveness, embrace and let go - beyond what I
thought possible.
Although baby boomers are more active than previous
generations, and technology has brought many
changes in how we connect, intergenerational connections
are still meaningful. It is innate in humans to
seek joy, safety, and connection. These connections
allow grandparents to share wisdom gleaned from
experience, bypass loneliness, and provide a model of
graceful aging for younger generations.
I've realized that when we embrace rather than
resist aging, we embody the wisdom it brings and
inspire future generations.
Judith Frizlen is a writer, teacher,
mother, grandmother, and founder
of the Rose Garden Early Childhood
Center. She advocates for young
children and everyone who cares
for them - she is a play champion.
Her newest literary treasure, Where
Wisdom Meets Wonder: 40 Stories of
Grandma Love, celebrates the unique
bond between grandparents and
grandchildren. Follow her blog at
www.judithfrizlen.com.

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GRAND Magazine - Winter 2024

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of GRAND Magazine - Winter 2024