Theatre Design & Technology - Summer 2014 - 18

So as theatre
traditions have a
way of establishing
themselves, 		
so did this one.

So, in short, you guys put up with a lot, but
regardless of the psychological minefield one must
maneuver in dealing with our kind, when I add up the
number of most cherished friends I have in this business, they tend
to be on the tech side of the equation. I always felt more comfortable at
Barrymores than Jo Allens, and one thing I truly love about technicians is
their willingness to get in on the fun, when the opportunity presents itself. Now, some will pooh-pooh the idea that such playfulness
constitutes a breach of decorum, an unhealthy co-mingling of the disciplines, a blemish on the porcelain pigment of union etiquette
and solidarity, and I would just respond, "And you have a problem with that?"
My most memorable experience, in that regard to this natural bond, happened when working in a major American theatre,
where I have performed frequently, a venue that shall remain nameless.
Now, this crew established their competence early on, never missing a cue by the slightest fraction, and the camaraderie between their staff and ours was immediate, and things took an turn for the theatrical, when one especially gregarious and charming
stagehand was chatting with me at intermission and said, "Well, you know tomorrow is commando night." Now, I pretty much came
of age in the 1970s and am real bad about upping the ante, so I just couldn't help myself, when I responded, "Well, how can we trust
that you're not wearing underwear if you still have your pants on?" And that is the point at which the train left the station.
The following night as I made my exit following the first scene, I couldn't help but notice that the crew member operating the
pulley which brought different Christmas trees on and offstage was naked from the waist down. My costume change was a very quick
one, so I didn't have time to react in kind, but my next character change gave me ample time to strip completely naked and make my
lengthy backstage cross skipping like a little girl. Upon my next exit I came off to find two dressers in the buff.
Later in the act I noticed that the properties master had gone native and was bent over, picking up some wayward Christmas
ornament; a sight that, taking the angle into consideration, will remain with me till they place the coins on my eyes. At the beginning
of Act Two, you couldn't help but notice that our stage manager was sitting at his podium and calling the show wearing nothing but a
headset. Later just offstage the women got involved when we all spotted six naked breasts lined up in a row like chickens in a coop,
belonging to the wardrobe mistress, the company manager, and the lighting assistant, and the coup de grace happened when the set
piece for a huge UFO ramp was lowered from the wing, and Joe Sears, as RR Snavely, exited up it and off into the cosmos passing
between a phalanx of about ten totally nude union stagehands. No, kids, this wasn't your mothers' Brigadoon.
Now, I know that some of you may have trained in religious-based or conservative institutions, but you have to believe me when
I tell you that life on the road can get really boring, and when we sensed that we had come across a crew that can pull this kind of

18

theatre design

& technology

summer

2014
Theatre Design & Technology - Summer 2014

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