IEEE Women in Engineering Magazine - December 2012 - 48

Back to School

Never Stop Learning

I was 21 when I came home and decided
to put myself back through school, with
the aim of studying engineering at a
university. I worked full time in the film
industry and on weekends, hangover
or not, I would force myself to go for a
two-hour lesson at the math and science
center in Cape Town. I wasn't going to
tell anyone what I was doing because
the one time I did, they said that I was
"crazy" and that it would take "forever"
but as Walter Bagehot said, "The great
pleasure in life is doing what people say
you cannot do."
It took me two years, I wrote my
matric again, just before my 23rd birthday, and started in 2005 in the mechatronics program at University of Cape
Town. I couldn't believe I had gotten
in. I was working part time to pay for
my studies, I had to prove to myself
that I wasn't the washout that everyone
believed that I was, and the only person
I had to blame was myself. So it was me
that had to change. I paid for every lesson, I knew how much it cost, I worked
12-hour days every day, and I was surrounding with kids that had just finished school. It would make me so angry
to have to sit in lectures when there
was so much talking, surrounded by so
many lucky people who were supported
all the way-these guys where the clever
ones, not me-and I would do my best,
but never in my right mind did I ever
think I would get through it. It was the
hardest thing I have ever done, but it
was the best. Never give up on yourself.
I received my B.Sc. in 2008, and I
earned it with honors, meaning not only
did I pass, but I did well. I was one of
four girls in my class to pass, and all four
of us did well in the end. Fifty people
started the mechatronics program, and
30 passed in the end. Everyone at the
university had had bursaries offered to
them, and mine was with Volkswagen
by that stage. My final year was the only
year that I did not work part time to
pay for myself. I was lucky to have the
bursary because I had no idea what I was
going to do with my degree once I got it.
Don't tell me-or anyone else for that
matter-that you can't do it.

I realized that the working world is
tough. Being a woman in engineering, I
was surrounded by men with huge egos
and very little interaction with women.
All of a sudden my marks were not the
important thing, it was how well I fared
in a board room and who I was willing
to go out with. I felt so small-and later
found out that a lot of my colleagues
had worked their way up through the
company and they did not like the fact
that I had a degree. I didn't realize how
much I had to learn, how little I knew
even with a degree. You never stop
learning, and if you do, you stop living.
My voice sounded different. My ideas
where ignored, only to later be presented
as another person's. I can only imagine
that this was and is because it's hard
to believe that a woman can have any
positive input. It was not an easy situation, and I found more and more I had to
develop a thick skin, not take things personally, and try very hard not to laugh
when your boss throws a tantrum.
I left Volkswagen after three years,
having learned more than I can ever tell
you. During my time at Volkswagen, I
worked toward my master's degree part
time. My undergrad supervisor brought
my attention to the field of neuromorphic
engineering (cue mad scientist laugh),
which is all about designing the brain,
finding out how it works, and then making your system work the way we do as
humans-think, reason, understand,
and remember. I had found my calling,
and I wanted to see how I could build
parts of the brain, like a prosthetic brain
for when people are born with brain damage or if they have been in an accident.
Doing anything part time is tough, but if
it has to be done, it has to be done. There
will be sacrifices-make them-or you'll
kick yourself if you don't. And start now.
Now I am at the Council for Scientific and Industrial Research in Pretoria,
South Africa. I love everything about
what this company stands for and what
it is trying to do. There are politics like
at Volkswagen, but the mandate and the
work is ideal for me. I finally found my
niche, and no one thought I would-not
even me. I sold myself short from day

IEEE womEn In EngInEErIng magazInE

december 2012

one. I had decided that I was not going
to be able to do it and therefore it must
be true-and it wasn't. What was the
turning point? When I started ignoring
my inner demons and did it anyway.
I have learned some important lessons
along the way.
◗ No one can tell you what you are
good at-find it by looking and
don't stop until you know what it
is. If it doesn't work out the first
time, cut your losses and move on,
but don't stop.
◗ Don't sit around. Start something,
anything. You would be surprised
how much more could get done if it
you just begin.
◗ Try to listen more. (If you get this
right please tell me how).
◗ Have faith in yourself and your
choices.
◗ The way you dress, how you hold
yourself, how you talk, how you
think-they are unique to you as
a woman. Don't ever lose that,
don't let others rent space in your
head, and know beyond reason
that you are special and you can
contribute, but you have to work
hard and it will take time. So give
yourself time. Respect others and
their differences, no matter if they
deserve it or not.
Do I want to have a family? Yes. Is the
world ready for career-orientated women
to have children? My opinion is no. You
would think that it would not be a foreign concept, but the days of allowing
your four-month-old baby that is only
going to be sleeping come to the office
are far off. What about flex-time for
mothers that need to sleep when their
baby does? Or feeding rooms? Or working from home (for performance-based
work)? Or on-site child care? The list of
questions goes on. We will get there, but
without you we have no hope.
I am going to go on to get my
Ph.D., and one day I hope to help girls
and women realize that science is fun,
and that you don't have to be a man to
succeed in the field. (But you will have
to work with them.)
-Ashley Liddiard

http://www.B.Sc

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of IEEE Women in Engineering Magazine - December 2012