Iowa Spirits Spring Summer 2019 - 31

ummertime. Your teenager just gradu-

ated from high school. You watched her
walk up the aisle, cross the stage, and
receive that diploma. She's starting work soon,
or going away to college, maybe both. You've
put in a lot of hard work and raised a great kid.
Job over.
Not exactly. Your child still needs one more
thing from you-guidance. She may be an adult,
technically, but she still has a million more challenges ahead and, for this, she needs your help.
Don't assume that what you say doesn't matter
or that teenagers don't listen to their parents. In
fact, according to Psychology Today and other
sources, parents have more influence on teenagers than anyone else, including the media and
friends.
Children need different forms of parenting at
each stage of development. As they get older,
kids need more freedom and independence.
However, parents still need to model best practices and provide guidance. Although 18-yearolds are recognized as adults, their brains don't
reach full maturity until the mid-late 20s. Until
then, teens and 20-somethings are still likely to
make poor decisions. So don't take the easy way
out and let the internet, friends or "society" raise
your kids. Step in and do it yourself. Your advice
may not be perfect, and neither will their behavior, but with your help they'll be
happier and safer.
Furthermore, as children get
older their life choices become
more serious, which means they
need us more than ever. Drinking
is a big part of this. High school
graduates are faced with a number
of dangerous alcohol-related
behaviors and consequences:
underage drinking; fake IDs;
binge-drinking; drunk driving;
blackouts; cognitive development
issues; sexual assault; trouble in
school; unsafe sex; unwanted
pregnancy; injuries and even
death. Help them make good decisions and avoid these things.

time to start. Teens are struggling with physical
and emotional changes, fitting in, schoolwork,
peer pressure, and many other realities. Issues
such as divorce, abuse, anxiety over grades and
mental health problems will increase the likelihood that they start drinking. According to
Health Day, if kids are well informed from an
early age about the health risks associated with
alcohol, they're less likely to start drinking.
You may not even realize that your child has
started drinking. The first thing to do is ask, but
it's important to remain calm and relaxed. Your
teen is more likely to open up and speak frankly
if you approach him in a friendly, casual,
non-judgmental manner. You can also look for
clues. The American Academy of Child and
Adolescent Psychiatry addresses the warning
signs: red or glazed-over eyes; mood swings;
alcohol on the breath; irritability; problems in
school; fatigue and other health issues; withdrawing from friends and family; depression;
loss of interest in sports and other activities.
It's important to keep talking about alcohol,
even as your child works her way through high
school, graduates, and enters the world. Once
the lines of communications are down, it can be
hard to open them again. However, if your child
is in the habit of sharing her thoughts with you,

WHEN TO START?

Young teens, in junior high, will
often be exposed to drugs, cigarettes and alcohol, so this is a good

SPRING | SUMMER 2019 31

Iowa Spirits Spring Summer 2019

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