Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 10

MILL CREEK STORIES

WAIT, MATCHING BOOTS?

Aging Novice
TV ads don't help on the new adventure.
By MOLLY DUGGER BRENNAN

A

nother year, another year older. I
don't know about this whole aging thing. What I mean is that I really don't know how I'm supposed
to age. I'm new at this, never been
this age before, and I am out here
winging it.
I know how my grandparents looked at
my age but they lived a different life, circa
The Waltons, so I'm not certain the comparison is valid even considering our shared
genetics. Oh sure, there are books on the subject but they're no help when I roll over at
3:00 a.m. and jolt awake from leg pain.
Didn't I just see a commercial about some guy on a
plane whose leg hurt and now he's on fancy-shmancy
prescription meds to keep him from keeling over dead?
Is this a deep vein thrombosis that will kill me? Is my
time up? Or is it just a charley horse from the mastiff using my knee as a pillow? Place your bets, am I about to
die? Odds are running 50/50 according to bedtime bookies, though if you'd seen my dog you'd know pooch pillow pain is the smarter bet.
By the way, I think it's a bad idea to let prescription
drug companies air commercials aimed at the general
public. I grew up in a time where if you did not have a

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bone visibly protruding from one of your appendages,
you were told to rub some dirt on it and walk it off. I
knew very few grown men that had all 10 fingers, being from a farming community. Maybe it's gotten safer,
but farming was not for the faint of heart when I was a
young 'un. If your pinkie finger could not be put in a jar
all by its lonesome, you were not working hard enough.
Now, watching TV commercials convinces me I suffer from the dreaded restless eyebrow syndrome and
will become a pariah in my community unless I beg my
doctor for a brand new miracle drug which may or may
not be covered by my insurance and causes enough side
effects to take up three full pages in a magazine, even
when printed in a font size too small for these eyes to
read. Oh no, is not being able to read fine print a symptom of restless eyebrow syndrome? Argh, it's too late for
me, save yourself.
My husband bought me an iWatch thingy for Christmas because my doctor said I had to walk more. This
technological wonder keeps track of my steps, my heart
rate, my appointments, my phone calls and the time
in Tokyo. Occasionally, it will flash a red heart and tell
me my skyrocketing pulse rate. It's like it's saying, "Girl,
you'd better sit your butt down and turn off the news.
Maybe have a cup of tea and think calming thoughts.
Puppies. Kittens. Stuff like that."


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Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019

Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - Intro
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - Cover1
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - Cover2
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 3
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 4
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 5
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 6
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 7
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 8
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 9
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 10
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 11
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 12
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 13
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Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 16
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 17
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 18
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 19
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 20
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 21
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Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 26
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 27
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 28
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 29
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 30
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 31
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 32
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 33
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 34
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 35
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 36
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 37
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 38
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 39
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 40
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 41
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 42
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 43
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Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 49
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Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 62
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 63
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Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 73
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - 74
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - Cover3
Blue Ridge Country - January/February 2019 - Cover4
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