The Roanoker - March 2014 - 28

Dude-Dubious Achiev
DAVID BOW-WOW AWARD

Proving once again that bark has nothing to do
with bite, Roanoke Mayor David Bowers said
after the December 7 election of Sam Rasoul
for the Democratic nominee to replace suddenly
retired Delegate Onzlee Ware (more on him momentarily), that he was "sickened by the things I
have heard . . . that are despicable and cause
me to question the legitimacy of this nomination." Neither Bowers endorsee David Trinkle
nor anyone else seemed to have any idea what
Bowers was talking about, and hizzoner's response to requests for details was that he would
have no more to say about it.

ponents' supporters replied, "The reality is I'm
not out to please anybody."

ONZLEE'S WHERE? AWARD

BIG FUN IN ROANOKE COUNTY
To long-time 11th District Delegate Onzlee Ware AWARD
who, barely a week after his re-election in November and citing a need to spend more time
with his ailing mother who, as it happened, was
ailing before the election as well, resigned the
Virginia House seat he'd just been elected to.

HOW ROANOKE CELEBRATES
NATIONAL DOUGHNUT DAY

The first week in June embraces National Doughnut Day, and in Roanoke in 2013 it also held the
announcement that the Melrose Avenue Krispy
Kreme store - damaged a week earlier in a
fire - would not re-open; and that the Franklin
Road Dunkin Donuts store would close for a few
days while they yanked out the Baskin-Robbins
part of the operation.

ELECTION BY LOTTERY TICKET
AWARD

To the Roanoke County Republican Party, which
in response to a 389-389 tie vote between two
candidates to run for a county board seat decided the best way to pick the winner was to put
each candidate's name on five markers, drop all
of them into a, um, pillowcase, and then have
the party chairman draw the winning name.

AND THE ACCOMPANYING
GRACIOUS WINNER AWARD

To pillowcase-picked winner Al Bedrosian, who
when asked how he might reach out to his op-

28 MARCH/APRIL 2014

To RoCo Director of Parks, Recreation and Tourism Doug Blount, whose photo in the Fall 2013
edition of Roanoke County Recreation: Family
Fun Guide shows him smiling broadly from a
boat on a body of water large enough to host
both a cruise ship and a ritzy-looking coastline
that we suspect is neither Carvins Cove nor
Spring Hollow Reservoir.

THE DAY THE HEADLIGHTS
WENT OUT AWARD

To the owners of Hooters, the Roanoke Valley's
only breastaurant, who in January abruptly
closed the Williamson Road eatery due to a
bankruptcy.

THAT RICKY SKAGGS: CHILD
PRODIGY IN SO MANY WAYS . . .

An August Roanoke Times piece on country and
bluegrass legend Ricky Skaggs - who at age
6 joined Bill Monroe on stage with a mandolin
- cited him as being 59 years old, and his son
Andrew 47.

SHORT-SHEETING AWARD

To U.S. military officials who took umbrage
in June when they got wind and a view of a
supporting website for Operation Bedsheet, a
150-sets-of-sheets effort undertaken by RoxAnne
Christley of Roanoke County with the intention of
sending the bed linens to a unit in Afghanistan.
THE

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The Roanoker - March 2014

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