The Roanoker March/April 2017 - 8

FROM THE EDITOR

Just What is the Women's Issue?
Well, at my house it tends to change from time to time, but the overall theme and goal stays the same.
THE MEN'S ISSUE WE DID three years back, well,
"icky" down there and "you still have those spiI knew what I wanted to talk about: Heroes through
der crickets." Like it's my basement and like there's
my life. All dudes, of course.
no issue-woman's or otherwise-with, you know,
The Women's Issue takes more thought. I mean,
weird phobias or avoidance or anything.
just what is the women's issue?
But back to tidying. Much of it began with that
Well, at my house right now, the woman's issue
odd book from Marie Kondo called "The Lifeis a new kitchen. Which, to my first reaction, was
Changing Magic of Tidying Up." And being so eat
just a silly issue. The sink doesn't leak, the 'fridge
up with that one that she got another one called
keeps stuff cold, the old gas stove fires up just great,
"Spark Joy," from the same tiny author, who has apetc., etc.
parently been taking very good care of her dressser
But over the year or three that the issue has been
drawers since before she could walk.
Kurt Rheinheimer
on the rise, she's found techniques to wear me down.
The books got so much attention there for
Like when the dishwasher went out last summer in the big storm,
awhile that I picked one up and took a look.
she was like no, we're not replacing that until we re-do the kitchen.
A few minutes later I went upstairs and opened up my tee-shirt
When the lift-up window-treatment thingies started sproinging out,
drawer.
same thing-just leave it until . . .
Not long after that she came upstairs to see what kind of stupid
Then have come books, magazines, printouts from online visits,
parody of the books I might be carrying out up there.
trips to the appliance stores . . . to the extent that things have come
What she found was that I had re-folded all my shirts, into these tiny
to feel pretty imminent.
tidy bundles of color all in a row like a department-store display. Then
Which leads me to past woman's issues in the house we have lived
came my underwear, and then hers, which yielded these very pleasing
in now for nearly 27 years.
little rows of eye-candy color.
Things like-just to name a few-painting the inside of the
Just lost my head completely for an hour or two. I even held a few
whole dang house. Turning half the basement into a game/TV room.
old cotton running shirts to my chest to pretend to determine if they
Landscaping and rockscapes, and a nifty shade garden.
brought me joy before she put them into the Goodwill bag.
A giant screened-in back porch when we'd had a perfectly good
But back to the identity of the overall woman's issue: It is, at least at
4 x 4 mudroom.
my house, pretty simple. Domestic-environment tranquility.
New facade and roof for the garage.
And not just any tranquility. It's more like Premium Tranquility, where
Tidying.
a can of paint costs about what a good 80,000-mile tire does. Where
Tidying has been the key woman's issue since she retired about
plants put in the ground a decade ago are somehow now no longer wora year ago and pledged to dedicate herself to the room-by-room,
thy. Where a classic old stove is "just so ugly!"
systematic "transforming of this whole house, Kurt."
Where I am very very lucky to get to live in a place that one woman's
Which, to a significant extent, she has done. Not the basement,
issues have made better and brighter, warmer and more welcoming, now
you understand, because, even on the side we remodeled, it is
over more than a quarter century.
-KURT RHEINHEIMER
JULIANNE RAINONE

8 | MARCH/APRIL 2017

A pretty back porch is one glorious fruit of "the woman's issue."

THEROANOKER.COM

The Roanoker March/April 2017

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of The Roanoker March/April 2017