Vim & Vigor - Fall 2019 - UVA - 27

WEIGHING OPTIONS

Families facing decisions about caregiving need to consider all available options, Locker says. Her practice tries
to help families work through the possibilities, including
having siblings split up the work or having parents pay
for care if they're able, rather than children providing it.
MetLife's report on caregiving costs offers similar
advice: "Both male and female family caregivers need to
be more aware of the long-term financial implications of
leaving work or dropping back to part time in order to
care for older relatives."
Locker advises giving caretaking a trial run.
"We try to counsel our clients on taking family leave,"
she says. "Take a short break from your job, do the caretaking and see how hard it really is."
For people looking to plan ahead for when they might
need caregiving or need to provide it, the Merrill Lynch
report recommends looking into long-term care insurance and designating savings for healthcare costs in
retirement. Experts also recommend having advance
conversations with family to discuss wishes and potential strategies in case care is needed.
With some planning, families can have a better shot at
a caregiving solution that works best for everybody, so it
doesn't simply fall to an overworked daughter. ■

DEMANDING BUT
A PRIVILEGE
Geneva Alexanderson considers it a privilege to
be the primary caregiver for her mom and her
aunt. But with two family members diagnosed
with dementia and her aunt's condition progressing, she knew she needed help. So she turned
to the University of Virginia Memory and Aging
Care Clinic.
"At the Memory Care Clinic, they were concerned about me, too, as a caregiver. They
understood me and assured me I didn't have to
go through this alone," Alexanderson says. "It was
a very healing moment for me. Every question
I had, they listened. They treated my mom and
aunt with dignity. That was important."
For Alexanderson, taking time for herself was
not a priority initially. "I lost myself in caregiving," she says. "My life didn't seem to matter as
much. But I realized I was missing out on what
my mom wanted for me. She wanted me to live.
So I started taking care of myself. I even hired an
event planner, who plans something for me to do
each month. I took a train to the harbor. I went
on a boat ride. And it boosted my psyche. I felt a
weight lift off of me that I didn't realize I had."
She adds of her mom and aunt, "I cherish every
moment I have with them because I know how
this will end. But I would tell other caregivers that
you need to take time for yourself and they need
to see you living."

WEBSITE

Caregiving Support
If you're caring for a loved one with
dementia, find support at the UVA Memory
and Aging Care Clinic. Learn more at
uvahealth.com/dementia-support.

FALL 2019

27



http://www.uvahealth.com/dementia-support

Vim & Vigor - Fall 2019 - UVA

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