Vim & Vigor - Winter 2019 - UVA - 30

"Approach
it from the
standpoint of,
'This will be a
blast. Let's go
do this.'"
-J. Ron Eaker, MD

tone for everyone," says J. Ron Eaker,
MD, a fellow of the American College
of Obstetricians and Gynecologists and
author of Healthy Habits for a Fit Family.
That said, don't let the power go
to your head. It's important to tread
lightly, as starting an argument may
cause your spouse to get defensive and
be unwilling to open up about medical
concerns. Even though women often
find themselves in family caregiver
roles, these tips will work for concerned
partners of either gender.

It might sound obvious, but starting off
with "Wow, you packed on the pounds
this winter" or "When was the last time
you did something active?" isn't the
best strategy.

30

W IN TER 2019

RETHINK DATE NIGHT

Just like trading brunch for a family hike, some couples choose to forgo
happy hour or a lavish multicourse dinner for activities like salsa dancing, a

MAKE IT EASY

Eaker suggests "removing the
barriers in front of good habits,"
which might mean stocking your
pantry with healthy snacks (and
tossing out the junk food) or keeping exercise equipment in the home
(even a few dumbbells might save a
trip to the gym). These shifts help
people form positive long-term habits, Eaker says.
"Habit formation is also about putting barriers in front of bad habits, so
if you've got healthy snacks available,
it's a lot easier for him to grab one of
those than run to the Jiffy Mart and
get his favorite cheesy poofs," he says.
Another gift you and your partner
can give each other? Time.
"You can help your husband by
making it possible for him to protect
his exercise routine," Eaker says. If
his friends tend to play soccer on
Sunday afternoons, don't leave him
solo with the kids or send him grocery shopping.
But remember to stay positive, and
keep it nonjudgmental if you want
to suggest he head out to play ball.

PHOTOS BY GETTY IMAGES

STAY POSITIVE

"Our intentions might be good, but
you can ultimately sabotage things
because your partner may start to resent
you and feel controlled," says Alicia
Muñoz, a licensed professional counselor and author of No More Fighting: 20
Minutes a Week to a Stronger Relationship.
Instead, take the focus off your
spouse and plan an activity the whole
family can do, like a Sunday morning hike instead of your usual stop for
brunch at the local greasy spoon.
"Approach it from the standpoint of,
'This will be a blast. Let's go do this,' "
Eaker says. "It takes effort, and you have
to be willing to open yourselves up to
new possibilities."

surf lesson or a session at a rockclimbing gym, which not only burn
calories, but also give them something new to share together.
"It can be helpful to notice the way
that sometimes, pleasurable activities
that you do as a couple might actually be undermining your health or
your health goals in the long run,"
Muñoz says.
A healthful activity can also be
pleasurable, and there's evidence
that experiencing something new
together is good for relationships.
When pitching a change in plans
to your spouse, you can reiterate that part: "Let's try this new
thing together."
Vim & Vigor - Winter 2019 - UVA

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