Vim & Vigor - Spring 2020 - Community Healthcare System - 40

40

DIY

More Tips to
Overcome
Negative Vibes

HOW TO

Deal with
Negative People
WE ALL HAVE THAT ONE FRIEND-AND TOO
MANY ADVERSE ENCOUNTERS WITH SOMEONE
CAN HURT YOUR MENTAL HEALTH
BY CARRIE SCHEDLER

What makes someone a
"negative person"?
On one hand, it could
be someone who's just a chronic
complainer. In more extreme cases,
it could be someone whose constant pessimism is part of a larger
psychological concern-anything
from control issues to pathological narcissism.
The one thing these various types
of negative people have in common?
They're often entirely unaware of
how their behavior comes off or
influences others.
Luckily, Kesha Burch, PhD, a therapist and member of the American
Counseling Association, has several
strategies for making sure you don't
get swept up in the wave of negativity.

Know when you're hitting
your limits.

You can probably tolerate your
chronically dissatisfied sister's rants
on an occasional basis, but for your
SPRING 2020 VIM & VIGOR

own sanity, it's best to know when
she's starting to get to you.
"When you recognize you're
constantly crabby around them,
or if you feel like you're starting to
behave in ways that don't feel like
yourself, that's when you know,"
Burch says. Once you start to notice
warning signs of becoming overwhelmed, it's OK to take a break-
gracefully exit the conversation,
hang up the phone or tell her you'll
text her back later.

Recognize you can't fix a
negative person's problems.

"You don't have to take people's issues
on as your personal projects," Burch
says. Rather than feel obligated to
help solve issues every time your
co-worker comes to you with a gripe
about your supervisor, you can simply say: "Yeah, that really stinks," and
leave it at that-it's a way of showing
support without getting emotionally entangled.

If you find yourself surrounded by chronic complainers or messengers of
doom and gloom, the key
to your own happiness is to
step away.
"Rise above the negativity,"
says Joseph Fanelli, MD, a
psychiatrist with
Community Healthcare
System's Behavioral
Health Services.
"Tethering your happiness
to negative people can put
you at risk for missing out on
the bright side of life."
It helps to practice positive
affirmations, Fanelli says.
"Take time for self-care,
a long walk or a soothing
bath," he says. "Be generous
to yourself. Write notes to
yourself that say things like,
'I am able,' 'I am smart,' 'I am
healthy.' "
"Post them in your office,
car or home to help change
your thinking," Fanelli says.
Guided meditation is
helpful for stress relief, as
is talking to others, says
Hartsfield Village outreach
coordinator Susan Hynek.
"You may want to start a
journal or seek out professional help, especially if the
negativity has pulled you
down," she says.

Retrain
Your Brain

If you have a history of
attracting judgmental people
who cause you distress, it
may be time to consult with
a mental health team of professionals. Visit COMHS.org
or call for a referral at
219-836-3477.
http://www.COMHS.org
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