Elephants and Tea - December 2021 - 11

THINGS TO KNOW AND REMEMBER
AS A HEALTHY SIBLING
BY MAYA SOLWREN
* You are not alone, and every feeling and thought you have during your siblings'
treatment process is completely normal.
▷ There is no right way to feel about and cope with your sibling's cancer, but there
are healthy ways, sharing your emotions being one of them.
▷ You might not have the words for it right away. You may be too young or there
is too much change right now, but you can always take your time and deal in
different ways.
* It is common to have internalized emotions, especially around emotions of jealousy,
anger, and/or frustration toward your sibling because they are getting so much
attention and their illness turned your world upside down.
▷ Share these feelings with friends and family and other people you can confide
in. It will help you process what is happening and allow those you share with to
understand a little more - you also might not feel as alone.
* You are important.
▷ It is common to believe your problems and emotions are not important enough
to share while your sibling is sick, but they are. I recently spoke to my mom
about this very thing, and she told me she wished she had done a better job of
asking me how I was doing and making it known that she wanted to take care of
me just as much as she wanted to take care of my sister.
* Your relationships may change with friends and family.
▷ You may allow people in or put up walls and push them away (I wish I had let my
family in because my life would be so much better now if I had).
* Accept any sort of help you're given.
▷ Talk to people when they ask how you are doing or if they can do anything for
you.
▷ Go to peer support groups. It will be awkward at first, but you can support each
other in ways no one else can.
* Advocate for what you want and need!
▷ Even though everyone is advocating for your sibling right now, you still matter.
You need to advocate for yourself.
▷ Adults need a little help sometimes, and you have to tell them what you need
(even if you don't really know, you know much better than they do).
* It is common for siblings to feel pressure to be " perfect, " but you don't need to make
life harder for yourself to make life easier for others.
* It is important to take care of your mental health right now.
▷ Keep a routine
▷ Advocate for what you need
▷ Share your feelings and experiences with others
▷ Keep a journal
▷ Exercise
▷ Accept help
* There are resources for you.
▷ Ask the hospital your sibling is being treated at if they offer any sibling support
or know of any programs.
▷ In preparation for writing this letter for you, I researched siblings' experience
and support programs. I found Canteen Australia. I wish I had known about
this website while my sister was sick, because it is designed to help siblings of
cancer patients.
* You are loved and cared for.
Join Teen Cancer America every Friday for Fireside Fridays as we talk about topics around cancer that we find relatable!
youtube.com/TeenCancerAmerica
ELEPHANTSANDTEA.COM
DECEMBER 2021
11
Teen Cancer America partners
with hospitals throughout
the United States to develop
specialized facilities and
services for teens and young
adults with cancer. They build
teen-friendly environments,
enhancing the hospital experience.
They develop standards
for age-targeted care, improve
collaboration between pediatric
and adult specialists and enable
dedicated research to improve
outcomes and survival for our
young people.
Roger Daltrey and Pete
Townshend of The Who are the
driving force behind Teen Cancer
America. After over a decade
working with Teenage Cancer
Trust in the UK, the duo decided
to bring their passion across
the pond in 2012 and make a
difference in the lives of teens
and young adults with cancer in
the United States.
teencanceramerica.org

http://www.teencanceramerica.org http://www.youtube.com/TeenCancerAmerica http://www.ELEPHANTSANDTEA.COM

Elephants and Tea - December 2021

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of Elephants and Tea - December 2021