Elephants and Tea - June 2022 - 11

RESILIENT Dear Cancer...
DEAR CANCER, I NEVER AGREED TO BE WITH YOU
be successful. Instead, you made me focus
on what I actually wanted, rather than what
everyone else or society thought a 32-yearold
woman should be/have. You made me
realize I didn't want a future where I was
married with children and was living to
work. You made me realize I wanted adventure
in my life. I wanted to be surrounded
by people who understood what I was going
through on a daily basis, both mentally and
physically. You made me realize it is OK
to not fit into these boxes that society tells
you to fit into. You made me realize it was
OK for me to come out publicly as bisexual
and not care if that meant I lost friends or
extended family because they didn't think
it was morally right. You made me realize
I was happier alone, being true to myself.
You made me a cancer badass (I don't use
the term survivor) I am today. I have gone
skydiving in Maine, rock climbing in The
Gunks, New York, with First Descents,
where I earned the nickname " Captain, "
and I recently joined my local roller derby
team and snowboarded in Lake Tahoe with
Send It Foundation this past March.
You made me want to make a difference
by telling my story to anyone who would listen
and use my voice to advocate for people
who were not ready to tell their own story
yet. You made it so when you Google my
name, you come up too, cancer. You may
be stuck with me for life, but I am going to
have you in my life how I want you. Every
scan you still make your presence known
by lighting up a tiny spot on my pancreas,
but the doctors tell me that I am stable and
will continue to be monitored. When I get
dressed and see the foot-long scar down my
stomach, I am reminded of your presence,
even if I happened to somehow forget about
you for a few hours. I have never been done
with you, even now almost four years later.
Cancer, I still hate you, but buckle up.
You are only along for the ride. This is my
life now.
Love,
Bethany a.k.a. Captain (First Descents) a.k.a.
Roxy Lestrange (NH Roller Derby)
ELEPHANTSANDTEA.COM
JUNE 2022
11
NORMA MARQUEZ
Dear Cancer,
May 1, 2022, will be our four-year anniversary. From day one, this " relationship " has
only been one sided. I never agreed to be with you and for this to be a " 'till death do us
part " commitment. I don't even know how we became an " item. " I have been fighting for
our " divorce " (numerous chemo regimens) to no avail. Now we are in a vicious, painful,
unpredictable trial (clinical trial). Will the Judge (God/my oncologist) side with me or
with you? You are a master of deception and disguise. Just when I thought you were finally
going to leave me in September of 2019, you decided to go from my breast to my brain. I
had to undergo emergency brain surgery one Sunday morning only to wake up partially
paralyzed. You thought I was done and that you had won. But guess what? I won that
battle! I spent a long time in physical rehabilitation, and guess what? I am still here. Tit
for tat. They said I would not speak until two weeks post-op. Guess what? I spoke within
hours of recovery. They said I would not walk unassisted for six months to a year, and I
went home in October and was walking unassisted by December. They said I would not
walk in heels for at least two years, and I have a new collection of heels. You are the most
abusive asshole that anyone could have imagined. You have punched, injured, and mutilated
my organs in so many ways but you will never take my wittiness, spunk, sarcasm,
sense of humor, persistence, perseverance, or hope away. You haven't been all bad. You
did show me who my true friends were because when you disfigured me, the bad friends
left because I wasn't pretty enough to be seen with them. You took my beautiful, wavy
chocolate brown hair away, and a true friend told me that hair does not define me. She was
right. You have attacked my liver and I healed. Now you are attacking my liver and brain
again, but guess what? I will win. Only at the end of that clinical trial (October 2022) will
the verdict be rendered if I can be divorced from you.

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